Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Two weeks til O. Two weeks til kNOw.

on September 12, 2012

DH and I were big fans of the TV series “LOST”.   Fans of the show will easily recall the button in the hatch that required pressing every 108 minutes, lest the “unthinkable” happen.

Ironically, no one really knew what would happen if they didn’t press it.  They just feared what might happen.  So, they lived their lives in 108 minute increments, watching the minutes tick away until it was time to press the button again.

I can relate.  I live my life in two week increments.  Two weeks til O.  Two weeks til Know (or, Two Weeks til NO, as seems to be my case for the past 11 months).  I record my data daily – cervical fluid, temperatures, cervix position, OPK result, intercourse schedule – and tick off two weeks’ worth of days until ovulation.  Then I push the button, and wait.

While I wait,  I record my data daily – changes in cervical fluid, rise in temperatures, boob sensitivity – and tick off two weeks’ worth of days until it’s time to POAS.  When the answer is “no” – I push the button to reset my cycle, and wait.

I always wondered why no one just said, “Screw it.  I’m not pushing the button.”

In the hatch, there was a group of people on rotation to push the button.  Sawyer could go outside and harass Hurley to relieve some stress and take his mind off of the button for a couple of days, because Kate was on deck to push the button.  When Kate’s shift was over, she could go take a shower or garden with Sun to clear her head, because Locke was on button duty.  They all got a break from the uncertainty and stress of the button because they could check out for a while, knowing the button was under someone else’s control for a while.  They could walk away – because it didn’t stop anything.

But, if I don’t push the button, the TTC train comes to a complete and sudden stop

While DH is very supportive and obviously dealing with his own emotional TTC roller coaster, he can’t alleviate the stress and anxiety that comes with the button responsibility.  He can’t chart his fluids, or take his temperature and track his coverline to give me reprieve.  I can’t just check out on the process and check back in to see where we stand.

People say “relax” and “when you stop trying, it’ll happen” and other ridiculous, unproven theories.  When you’re battling fertility issues, and your body isn’t designed to crank out 4 babies in 5 years, you can’t stop.  You have to reset the button.  And it’s exhausting.

Two weeks til O.  Two Weeks til Know.


4 responses to “Two weeks til O. Two weeks til kNOw.

  1. Mrs. S says:

    I hear you. I keep thinking about stopping with the temps, but every time I do the argument of “But then I won’t know if I O’d for sure! If I don’t know that I won’t know if we even had a shot this time!” Comes into my brain. TTC is simply emotionally draining.

    • Scrambled says:

      EXACTLY! Every month during my period I decide to “take a break” from the crazy charting, message board stalking, etc. And then, as soon as I begin to approach the ovulation window, I pull out all my old tricks. Hang in there, Mrs. S! We will get this together! Hugs!!

  2. […] is truly our last dance of the month…all signs point to this being our last chance for another two weeks.   Carpe […]

  3. […] Many of us are all to familiar with the Two Week Wait. […]

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