Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

15 Things To Do While Waiting to Read an HPT

on September 13, 2012
C’mon.  Don’t pretend like you just pee on the thing and casually walk away for 3 minutes while it processes.  We all know those 3 minutes are an eternity.   We’re not ashamed to admit some of the things we do while waiting to read an HPT.  How many can you check off?
  1. Stare as the color moves across the window. Don’t look away.  You may miss the squinter before it fades.
  2. Replace the light bulbs above the vanity to ensure adequate squinter lighting.  Never mind that none of the bulbs are burned out.
  3. Walk away and pretend you don’t care. Return in 37 seconds after not even leaving the bathroom.
  4. Read the instructions in English. Pretend to understand the Spanish version.
  5. Remove the toilet paper that DH replaced earlier and put it back on in the RIGHT direction.
  6. Save your sample on the window sill in case you need to double-check with a second test.
  7. Feel yourself up checking for boob sensitivity, being reminded that you’ve never enjoyed titty twisters all that much.
  8. Say, “it’s probably negative” out loud to yourself.
  9. Check your chart on your smartphone to confirm DPO.
  10. Reassure yourself you’re not the only one who takes their smartphone to the toilet.
  11. Put your hand on your tummy and whisper, “hello there.”
  12. Take off your flip flops so you can stand on the counter under the vanity lights.
  13. Prematurely retrieve another test from beneath the sink. For verification purposes, of course.
  14. Decide which poor unfortunate message board buddy you can send your unused OPKs to.
  15. Remind yourself to grab a jug of milk on the way out (like you’ve never POAS in Walmart
Time flies CREEPS when you’re freaking out!
Can you relate?  What do YOU do during those 3 excruciating minutes?

2 responses to “15 Things To Do While Waiting to Read an HPT

  1. Georgette says:

    I bring a book with me into the toilet and try to read while balancing a cup of pee (in case I need to retest) and the POAS stick on my knees. Guarantees that I will have an excuse to peek several times.

  2. Haha! That’s great. Glad we are not the only ones who save the pee just in case! 🙂 — scrambled.

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