Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Symptom Stalking…Oh Yeah, We Do This!

on September 27, 2012

“I can’t change the litter box, babe. I might be pregnant. And I probably shouldn’t eat that feta, either.  But I will have a glass of wine.”

Am I the only one who’s convinced she’s knocked up every month?  I symptom stalk with the best of ’em. Forums, books, websites, and blogs have slowly morphed me into a self-diagnosing, wanna-be-mom monster. Two months ago, I had every pregnancy symptom listed in the Google universe. And boy, was I pumped!

My list of “maternal” maladies looked something like this: nausea, bloating, sore nipples, fatigue, light cramping, high temperatures, a cold sore, late period, hot flashes, a high, soft cervix, cold chills, and “that feeling.” And wouldn’t you know, Aunt Flow (aka the grim reaper) showed up swiftly and arrogantly just moments after I purchased a cute onesie to stash in the guest room closet. Isn’t irony a beautiful thing?

Scrambled had a candid, humorous post a few days ago regarding spotting pregnant women everywhere. I couldn’t agree with her more. We spot the impregnated at every turn.  We spot our own “pregnancy” symptoms. We think we spot a positive line on a pregnancy test. And then we start spotting as the vicious cycle repeats!

I find a reason every month why it would make perfect sense for me to finally become pregnant: the pseudo symptoms, the perfect delivery date, career timing, Chinese gender calendar predictions, etc. The last two months were especially disappointing. I had hoped to surprise my husband with a pregnancy announcement in August on our wedding anniversary, but instead the witch arrived. This month, my husband and I optimistically planned to open a gender announcement together on Christmas  morning.  The anatomy scan would have been scheduled a few days before the holidays and we were going to ask the technician to seal the results in an envelope without telling us. We thought it would be the perfect reason to bound from bed like little kids in anticipation of St. Nick’s bestowing.  I guess we can shoot for a Martin Luther King Day boy/girl reveal if we get lucky this month!

For a woman who claims to be founded in facts and evidence, I sure have become a superstitious, “just maybe” kind of gal over the last year. My mind has been taken over by twinges, temp spikes, pee tests, and thoughts of a tot of my own.

I will continue to symptom stalk because it gives me a hope and retains the title “crazy” that I have so proudly acquired. What I will try to differently, however, is to enjoy myself in the meantime. Drink ’til it’s pink. Pop a Xanax here and there. Maybe have sex when I’m not officially fertile. You know, the good stuff? 😉

10 responses to “Symptom Stalking…Oh Yeah, We Do This!

  1. Megan says:

    Sunnyside, I totally understand the symptom stalking! This past cycle, I was SURE I was pregnant-my cervix was high, my cats were weird (the one that loved me wouldn’t touch me, the ones that wouldn’t touch me loved me)-and of course, AF showed up. I was crushed, but what made it worse was that I shared my suspicions with my husband, he was getting excited, and now we were both super disappointed. As much as I tell myself I won’t analyze my symptoms, I know I will. I think this time though, I’ll just keep it to myself. And I agree, enjoy the little things in the meantime (especially wine!).

    P.S. I love your blog! You and Scrambled are smart and funny and just plain wunderbar!

  2. Scrambled says:

    Thanks, Megan! Sometimes we wonder if only we think we’re funny – haha 😀

  3. SunnySide says:

    Megan, I agree with your husband comment. It’s great to have the guys on board and excited, but it sure does make it extra sad around here every 31 days! He and I both build it up like it’s “the month” and then we slip into a depressing infertility coma a week later. Ugh! and about the pets! Haha! I love your cat observations! One of my dogs fell asleep with his head on my tummy and I was convinced he could “smell” a baby cookin’! …so delusional 😉 But hey, it’s who we are, right?! Thanks for reading and commiserating with us…TTYS Megan:-)

  4. Liz says:

    I understand the planning aspect of TTC as well. I’ve been meticulously planning how to do a pregnancy reveal to my in-laws and keep having to come up with a new one every time the witch arrives cackling. If we get preggers between now and the middle/end of November, I am planning a Christmas reveal, but after that, I’m out of ideas!!

    So good to find someone brave enough to blog about all these feelings, and who feels exactly the way I do!

    • SunnySide says:

      Liz- so I’m not the only one who plans and replans this stuff every cycle?! Thank goodness! 😉 So lets look at our post-Christmas options: President’s Day “I’m growing a future President so let’s celebrate!” Or Valentine’s Day…so cliche but I’ll do it in a heartbeat! Easter “He is risen…and so has my HCG! We’re pregnant!” These options seem a little…uninspired…so let’s hope we can pull it off before the end of the year! Fingers crossed for you guys! Keep us posted!

    • Scrambled says:

      Christmas reveal – awesome! Fingers crossed for you! I know how you feel. We have our family photos scheduled for Nov. 3, and we always use that photo for our Christmas card. I *so* want to do a bow around my belly with a giant gift tag that says, “Do not open until May 2013” for our Christmas card… but if I don’t get preggers this cycle (aka, BFP this week), then we can’t do it. I’m so hoping for it.

  5. 1suburbanchic says:

    I totally get this! One month I truly convinced myself that I was pregnant, had ALL they symptoms x2! Then realized I had a UTI.. UGH.

    • SunnySide says:

      Oh! That’s awful. I’ve had my fair share of UTIs and they’re miserable. Nothing like finding out you’re not pregnant AND you have a UTI! Adds insult to injury…It’s like the month I got a horrible cold sore or the times I put on a few lbs, and had nothing to blame it on but stress once pregnancy was no longer an option. Sucks!

  6. sara says:

    Symptom stalking is the best and the worst thing EVERRR. Especially because preggo symptoms? Yeah, they’re pretty much the exact same things as AF symptoms. Nature’s a tricky little beyotch sometimes.

    I absolutely love your idea of a Christmas morning gender reveal–and it shows that you’re so creative that whenever your timing lines up, you’ll think of something equally, or even more, awesome to do. *hug*

    • SunnySide says:

      Yes, PMS symptoms parallel early pregnancy symptoms and it’s such a misleading nightmare! Scrambled and I are going through that right now. Every little thing and we’re texting each other, “so this is happening…am i screwed or should I be hopeful?!” I’m even considering giving up temping for the remainder of ths TWW so save myself the crazies 🙂 thanks for the support, Sara!! XO

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