Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Giveaway starts today! Find out how you can win a necklace from La Belle Dame Jewelry!

on October 5, 2012

We don’t always know what to say or do, but if we can find something that can help us better express our feelings, why not? That’s the reason everyone turns to the major greeting card companies, but I stumbled upon something even better.

When I miscarried back in February, I was utterly devastated. My husband and I both were. It was our second cycle trying to conceive and we were ecstatic to see that second line appear so early in our journey.  The day I got my BFP was the same day a friend of mine told me through teary eyes she was in the process of miscarrying. I was in shock. She hadn’t shared her pregnancy with me yet, and I had never spoken to someone about miscarriage while it was fresh. I recalled conversations with my mom, aunts, and friends about miscarriages that had happened months or years ago, but this awful thing was happening to her as we were speaking. I had no idea what to say or do. I hugged her, apologized, and told her I would be there for her, but I felt utterly helpless.

I left feeling empty, despite the personal good news I had received moments before seeing her. (Thank God I didn’t breathe a word about it to her that day.) I told my husband about it that night and we both attempted to understand how she and her husband were feeling, but we couldn’t possibly understand, especially as we were trying to absorb the reality of becoming parents ourselves. Sadly, four days later, that changed. We understood in a way we hoped we would never have to. It was the most awful night, all those hopes and dreams disappearing, even if it was only “real” for a few short days. Frantic online searches kept us up all night as we tried to find an explanation for why we were miscarrying or a way to make it stop. It was too early for medical intervention, so we just had to let things progress naturally. There was nothing we could do but try to accept the fact that “mommy & daddy” were titles no longer intended for us, at least for right now.

The next day, I decided to look online for something to commemorate what we had and subsequently lost.  I didn’t want to just “move on and forget about it.” I wanted to remember. I needed to look for the silver lining. That’s how I cope. I guess that’s why they call me SunnySide. 🙂

I found some neat stuff. A special tree to plant in your yard. An angel music box. Some beautiful quotes.  Then I found La Belle Dame Jewelry. They offer a line of unique and meaningful jewelry specifically designed to help women mourn the loss of a pregnancy or child.  Each item comes with a heartfelt poem or story and the option to customize by birthstones to give each piece extra special meaning.  I scrolled through the options, picked my favorite, and ordered two, one for myself and one for my friend. I chose the October birthstone because that’s the month those two babies would have been born.

Here’s a great overview from the La Bella Dame Website:
We have very recently added a very special line of Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss Memorial Jewelry for those who have experienced the loss of a baby during pregnancy or infancy. So often when a mother loses her pregnancy to miscarriage or stillbirth there is no place to go to feel connected to their baby, no place to grieve her loss. We created our Miscarriage and Infant Loss jewelry to help mothers feel connected to their little ones, to have a tangible something to touch and give them strength when they need it most. When the rest of the world goes on like nothing has ever happened, sometimes the grieving mother needs that extra something special to hold onto that carries her baby’s memory with her, where ever she goes. And, from a mother who understands, you can be assured that we offer compassionate customer care.

I chose the Baby Tears Miscarriage Necklace pictured above.

I’m absolutely in love with it. It’s perfect, tiny and precious.

Product Description:
This piece is symbolic of all of the tears cried, and not cried when we lose a little one. The tears of joy when we first found out we were expecting our longed for baby. The tears of sorrow and grief of our loss. The tiny baby tears that we will never get to wipe away. The tears that flow on the anniversaries that come – Mother’s Day, the day our baby was due, the day they were conceived, the day that we lost them… The tears of compassion we share for other mothers who know too well our sadness.

This delicate poem accompanied the necklace:
We never heard your first tiny cry,
never wiped the teardrops from your eyes.
And though our hearts grieve, and we are bereft
we carry your teardrops, they are all we have left…
We carry them with us, tucked next to our heart
your memory with us always, we are never apart.

I’m fortunate to have found something I can wear discreetly when I recount those weeks and lose strength and hope. I feel like I can keep the memory of him/her alive and close to my heart without feeling foolish, guilty, or imposing.  And I hope the friends with whom I have shared this gift have found the same peace and warmth. October is here and I know this necklace is going to help me through as the original due date approaches.

I highly recommend La Belle Dame Jewelry to anyone who has suffered through the loss of a pregnancy or child, or for those of you who would like to reach out to a loved one who has experienced this heartbreak. The quality, value, and sentimentality of these products is unmatched.

Now… for the exciting part.

Kimberly McIntyre, talented artist and owner of LBD, has generously offered to donate a hand-crafted Rose Quartz Sterling Silver Baby Tears Necklace to one of our readers! Thank you so much, Kimberly! We greatly appreciate your support and generosity.

To win his beautiful necklace, all you have to do is follow our blog, then post a relevant, thoughtful comment on this post!

(Please don’t just say “enter me!” — we want to hear your stories, and what helped you cope!)

We will draw a winner at random from followers’ comments posted between Oct. 5 and Oct. 14.

The lucky recipient will be announced on our blog on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Good Luck and lots of love!
-The Eggs

17 responses to “Giveaway starts today! Find out how you can win a necklace from La Belle Dame Jewelry!

  1. […] find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive « Checked CM while driving Giveaway starts today! Find out how you can win a necklace from La Belle Dame Jewelry! » Oct […]

  2. ivfmale says:

    That is a beautiful sentement. My wife suffered a miscarriage about a year before we met. There are times it still bothers her. Sometimes she thinks she did something to cause it to happen. I convince her that isn’t the case, but when you are left with so many unknowns, one can’t help but blame yourself when you’re feeling low. Right or wrong it is simply human nature. You want answers no one can provide, so the mind goes where it goes.

    With our current struggle dealing with our unsuccessful IVF, although we were never actually pregnant, That is the closest I will probably ever be to actually being a biological father. And struggling with that loss is very real.

  3. Scrambled says:

    IVF – thanks for your post. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s earlier loss. And, we actually thought the same thing re: your IVF struggles (did you get my private message via Twitter about this, actually?) I can imagine that the IVF disappointments parallel these same feelings of loss and heartbreak. I’m sorry for your repeated losses. Still thinking of you guys and hoping you find a breakthrough. big hugs.

  4. beedleboop says:

    I have a friend who suffered through a miscarriage in May (the same month DH and I started TTC). Her baby was due in December. She did a bunch of things to grieve…painting, naming the baby, planting a tree. She is still suffering all these months later.

    She and I are a part of a “group” of friends that has 8 couples…3 of whom who recently announced their pregnancies. It’s been nice to lean on each other each time an announcement is made. And I’m happy I have a shoulder to cry on and she can rely on me when she’s having a difficult day. Thanks for writing this blog…in addition to the forums, it’s nice to have a community to express and share frustrations 🙂

  5. 1suburbanchic says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this!

  6. Megan says:

    My full term son passed away the day after he was born due to birth defects. The poem above really touched me because he never cried. His little face wrinkled when the doctors and nurses touched him but the ventilator did all his breathing for him. I would give anything to hear him cry and wipe his tears. Now all I do is wipe my own. Thank you for sharing this beautiful necklace.

    • SunnySide says:

      Megan, I am terribly sorry for the loss of your son. It breaks my heart 😦 Wishing you lots of love and strength as you endure these difficult times. First Candle offers a free bereavement kit for families who have lost an infant and it’s really great. They also have a licensed counselor available 24/7 for support. Big hugs to you…we are here to help in any way we can.

    • Scrambled says:

      Megan – this is devastating. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what that would have been like. I hope your heart heals (as much as possible) and you find comfort in remembering his sweet face. We hope that our words will help you and that you can use this as a forum to express yourself if you can’t anywhere else. All our love! Scrambled.

  7. Elissa Schmid says:

    In May of this year my husband and I found out that we were expecting our first little one. We were SO excited and couldn’t wait for an ultrasound to see our baby! My hubby is in the Marines and we are stationed in Japan right now. Due to that telling our parents and family members was all through Skype and email. It was fun, but not the same as in person. After sharing with those who meant the most to us things changed.
    In June we had our first ultrasound where I would have been about 8 weeks along. The doc couldn’t get the heartbeat and the baby did appear smaller than it should have, but the doc said to just reschedule for two weeks later and things should be just fine. We had no fear or concern at this time, but two weeks later (before our second ultrasound) we miscarried our little one. We were 10 weeks, but according to the ultrasound the baby was about 6 weeks along (in size). It was the hardest thing we have ever been through, but our comfort came through our friends, family members, and through our Heavenly Father and His Word, the Bible. I don’t ever want to go through that experience ever again, but knowing that I have the support system that I do it made things as good as they could be.
    I’ve been searching for something to have as a reminder of our little baby and I love the idea of the necklace! I’m going to check out their website and see what all they have to offer. Thank you for this blog entry!

    • Scrambled says:

      Elissa – thank you for sharing your story. We are so sorry to hear about your loss. You must have been devastated. I’m glad that you love the necklace. Good luck in the giveaway, and definitely check out the site. She has many beautiful remembrance pieces. xoxo – Scrambled

  8. tracy cassells says:

    I lost my first baby Taylor 4 years ago. She was the light of my life and still I visit her grave every day and know I will see her again someday

  9. […] randomly numbered all of the posts on our site and re-tweets about the giveaway since Oct. 5 and had an unaffiliated party pick the […]

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