Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

All Signs Point to No. Whats Next?

on October 8, 2012

Over the last few days before the witch is due to arrive, I officially hit the “Panic & Obsessive Research” button. I don’t want to give up, as much as I know that it is probably better to start dealing with the reality of my symptoms. I’m looking for that glimmer of hope. I want to be able to say, “I totally thought I was out, but THEN…” There’s also this weird side of me that thinks positive thoughts lead to a happier womb, and if that bean can sense that I’m stressed or pessimistic, it will bail on me. So even if I have to fake it, I try to stay positive up until the very last second. But I’m freaking.

Here’s what’s going on:
Temperature dropping, but still above CL
Cramping on right side of uterus 7-14 DPO
Fatigue
BFNs whiter than pure snow at 14 DPO
Skin breaking out (2 mountains under my eyebrow!)
CM changing from creamy to watery
Bleeding gums when brushing
Threw up in my mouth a few times…ugh (I have a sensitive tummy and anxiety so this isn’t totally rare)
Gassy beginning on 13 DPO

And here’s what I have been googling:
BFN at 15 DPO then BFP
CM changing from creamy to watery at 13 DPO
Skin breaking out at 11DPO BFP
Implantation cramps
Pregnancy test sensitivities (every month I look this up)
Bleeding gums when brushing BFP

Surprise, surprise. I don’t feel any better after my searches. Just more confused. Today, AF should arrive. And I told myself I wouldn’t symptom stalk this cycle…

Scrambled (lots of love to her after the heartbreaking arrival of AF on Friday) has been such a rock for me over the past few months. Yesterday, she gave me some great advice about moving forward. DH and I should get the results of his sperm analysis anytime now. At that point, we will begin to move forward with  a FS consult and get a little more aggressive with our efforts. Our insurance doesn’t cover anything, but we can scrape enough together to cover the initial testing and some treatments, as needed. We are open to everything at this point: natural remedies (I’ve been going to an acupuncturist for a few months now), lifestyle changes, fertility drugs and procedures, and we had a good talk about adoption as well, even though that may be further down the road.

I’m fortunate that there are still many options at this point and I’m going to make a concerted effort to focus on the possibilities instead of the let downs. I will be honest, my patience is wearing thin. Again, I can’t thank Scrambled, DH, and my best friend enough for their support! This would be nightmarish to navigate alone.

To you guys, what are your thoughts on Instead cups, IUI, and fertility dietary changes? I’d love to hear your experiences and advice. 

For a little background, Here’s what I already do:
Daily temps
CM tracking
Prenatals and other supplements (probiotics, omega 3, B12, calcium, iron)
Acupuncture weekly or biweekly
Some Chinese supplements depending on where I am in my cycle
PreSeed
OPKs

Thanks for all of the wonderful support! We really appreciate all of you. And please forgive us if we seem a little down the next few days. Somehow, even though we’re states apart, Scrambled and I synced our cycles and we’re a little less hopeful at the moment. Hugs! 

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2 responses to “All Signs Point to No. Whats Next?

  1. Natalie says:

    As you already know that due to my
    PCOS diagnosis they had me an extreme diet of zero carbs, zero sugar alcohols. They also told me not to exercise, not sure why but I didn’t argue that one! I feel you on the symptom stalking. I got my positive result after swearing up and down I had a UTI, doc even put me on antibiotics for it. I only knew something was up because the uncomfortable full bladder feeling didn’t subside after 3 days of meds. Good luck ladies! Thinking about you and wishing you all the best!

  2. sara says:

    I’m sorry. I have my fingers crossed so hard for positive news for you (both). I wish all of this was easier, and that it worked the same way for everyone. I’d tell you to hang in there, but really, who wants to hear that? Just… sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts.

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