Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Have you held a newborn, lately?

on November 29, 2012

I completely forgot to give this simple fertility trick the credit and attention it deserves. How can I be so naive? I grumble about all the new babies popping up everywhere, but they are THE ticket to having a baby of my own.

Innocent Friend: “Have you tried holding newborns?”
Me: Scoff. “Yeah, I don’t think it’s working.”
IF: “But I’ve heard that newborns make you more fertile.”
Me: “I’ve held plenty. I think it’s bull shit.”
IF: “But didn’t you get pregnant right after holding Kay’s newborn?”
Me: “Nope. Miscarried a few days before he was born.”
IF: “Oh. Well maybe try other newborns.”
Me: “Yeah…we’ll see.”

I know she wasn’t acting with malevolence, but I had to shake my head after hanging up. Do people really believe this is an honest, tried and true recommendation? Maybe. Lets see what “experts” have to say about it.

I searched ten different phrases and ended up with nothing but this:
Does holding a newborn make you fertile? 

I did find some other interesting topics, though.

Will it hurt my baby if a woman holds him while she’s on her period?

Women addicted to being pregnant is a severe psychological disorder. 

Can I mix Drano with urine to determine baby’s gender? 

Sewing while pregnant will injure the baby’s guardian angel and leave him unguarded.

We live in a crazy world, my friends. Perhaps this is not the most enlightening post, but I bet you feel pretty intelligent after reading all that nonsense.

So go hold a newborn, but not while you’re menstruating. Good luck!


15 responses to “Have you held a newborn, lately?

  1. Courtney says:

    I’m sorry, but your friend is an idiot! What the hell???

  2. Natalie says:

    While I was ttc a friend gave me a crystal that I was suppose to carry with me to help make me fertile. Well I dropped it and we were totally convinced it meant twins were coming since it was in two pieces. Crazy, I know. But I carried those things in my purse all year. Until someone has struggled with fertility they just don’t get it. The intentions are most likely to be supportive, but sometimes it screws with your head and hurts your heart. 😦

    • SunnySide says:

      That’s so cute you thought it meant twins! It actually meant “you’ll have two handsome men in your home.” 🙂 Not counting the pool boy! haha. just kidding! And yes, it can me a mind f*ck.

  3. iSpytheWorld29 says:

    It’s interesting the types of old wives tales that are out there. I’ve heard of that one – the holding a newborn to increase fertility. Who knows if it’s true but it seems to be quite a popular old wives tale.

  4. Pumpkin says:

    There’s no shortage of ignorance out there. When I held my cousin’s newborn 2 months after my loss, I cried so hard I nearly dropped her. Nearly 2 years later, it still takes a ton of emotional strength to hold a baby.

    • SunnySide says:

      So true! It’s probably hardest for women like us (struggling to conceive) to hold a baby, yet that’s the suggestion thrown at us. “Go hang out with someone that found a way to get pregnant, hold a tiny child that’s not your own, and you’ll feel better and get pregnant.” So tortuous.

  5. Giggles says:

    Of course, holding newborns or hanging out with pregnant women is exactly how you get pregnant. No milkman involved.

  6. elaaisa says:

    I wonder why specialists have thought of stuff like IVF, they could just have us walk around maternity sections of the hospitals!

  7. Scrambled says:

    No. Sewing. While. Pregnant. WTF. Freaks. 😉

  8. […] I am not a subscriber to the “hold a baby and you’ll get pregnant” philosophy.  But, I’m now a subscriber to the “holding a baby won’t break […]

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