Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

If God was holding court, I’d clearly be the court jester.

on November 30, 2012

I’m convinced that one of my purposes in life is to be comic relief for God.  I envision God sitting up on his cloudy throne, surrounded by his “good” old boys, watching me go through my crazy journeys and saying “Hey y’all, watch this.  I wonder what she’ll do!”

Sort of like Adam Sandler in “Big Daddy” throwing sticks in the paths of the roller bladers.

My acupuncturist highly recommended that I start taking low-impact stretching yoga twice a week in an effort to help increase blood flow to my uterus and ovaries, re-channel energy and overall de-stress.  She specifically told me to use this time to clear my mind, stop thinking about baby making and just release my stress.

Monday, I tried this for the first time.  I went to my first yoga class since we began trying to conceive.  Now, I’m no stranger to yoga.  I’ve done it plenty in years past.  I’m familiar with most of the common lingo.  Relaxation pose.  Downward Dog.  Upward Dog.  Cat.  Even Cow.  I was ready to make this yoga my bitch and leave refreshed, with a clear mind.

I joined the class, and laid down into relaxation pose.  Nice, nice.  Deep breathing, I’m relaxing.  Mind is clearing.  Wonderful.  Remember to thank doctor later.

The teacher asked us to move from relaxation pose to sitting pose.  We begin stretching our necks, sides, getting warmed up.  Transition to downward dog.  Cow.  Cat.  Ahhhhh.  My back feels great!  My breathing is deep.  I haven’t thought about anything except stretching.

Then the teacher says, “Assume Happy Baby” pose.

Say.  What?

Assume.  HAPPY.  BABY.  POSE.   Seriously?

I had never heard this before, and looked around to see what my classmates were doing.  Sure enough, they all looked like happy effing babies.  You know how in cartoons when a character is hungry, they envision their friends as giant, walking turkey legs?  Yeah… so, my classmates all looked like this:

But all I saw surrounding me was this:

Breathe, breathe, breathe.  This is an odd coincidence.  Keep breathing – don’t lose focus.

So, I became a damn happy baby, and kept breathing.  We stretched our legs and back in this position, rolled over onto all fours and awaited further instruction.  The teacher broke her silence with, “Now, roll into embryo pose.”

What. the. $*#!

Again, having never heard of this pose, I look to my classmates for example.

Here come the giant turkey legs again.

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?

Before I can even process this, we’re back to

At this point, I’m almost laughing at the irony of this.  Here I am, doing everything I can (against my nature) to release and let go – take things naturally, cleanse my mind and THIS is what greets me.

I am convinced that God was the puppetmaster for the yoga instructor that day.  I hope that my yoga class at least made Him smile.   I’m just trying to figure out if he was having a little fun, or trying to tell me that this may actually be worthwhile.  Maybe both?

Do you believe in signs? 

9 responses to “If God was holding court, I’d clearly be the court jester.

  1. Belle says:

    Lol! I recently took a class from a new instructor (I’m picky and always go to the same one) and she called out embryo pose and I was all “Hell, just what I need. Another reminder.” If God does have a sense of humor I’m glad he chooses to channel it through you. Your posts often leave me giggling !

  2. Pumpkin says:

    That’s the thing about signs… they can mean pretty much anything you need or want them to mean. 🙂 Had I been in that class, I would have made a beeline for the door, then left a nasty message on my acu’s voicemail.

    • Scrambled says:

      haha! You and I are cut from the same cloth. I figured out that if I had been surrounded by pregnant women, too, I would have stormed out. As it was, I just rolled my eyes and assumed the position (ha)

  3. ivfmale says:


    Not sure I would call that embryo pose. Looks for fetal to me.

    Well if God’s not laughing…you sure made me smile.

  4. […] I wrote about how I must be on this Earth solely to be comic relief for God.  And while I do enjoy making people laugh, I’m kind of over being His punching […]

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