Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Train of Thought (WTF)

on February 14, 2013

We’ve all done this: You’re driving in your car, maybe singing along to the music, and you realize you’re thinking about something bizarre. You stop and try to trace it back to its origin. Z came from Y, Y came from X, X came from W, and so on. You try to get back to A. Good luck. It’s a pain in the ass. By the time five minutes has passed, you have forgotten the “bizarre” thing that ignited your puzzle and you’re in your driveway. “Did I run that last stop sign?”

This is how my twelve minute drive went heading home from the grocery store today.

I haven’t had sloppy joes in ages. Quick simple meal. I like it. 

manwich

Should I toast the Hawaiian sweet rolls? 

kings hawaiian sweet rolls

BBQ or oven? 

weber grill bbq
Oven. 

vintage stove oven

Oh, Facebook yesterday. Eww. 

The sign is hard to read. This food has been sitting our for 2 years!

The sign is hard to read. This food has been sitting our for 2 years!

And eww. 

Wanted to vomit watching this movie in college. Went to McDonald's the next day anyway.

Wanted to vomit watching this movie in college. Went to McDonald’s the next day anyway.

Reminds me of all that crap that came out about school lunches a while back. Pink sludge. 

pink slime school lunches fast food chicken

I’m making lunches for my kids once they start school. 

vintage mom kid baking cooking

I loved PB&J when I was little. 

PB&J peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Shit. Peanut allergy restrictions in schools. 

peanut allergy in schools restrictions

Almond butter.

almond butter

“Green light! Go asshole.”

When can toddlers eat almonds? 

google picture

Thoughts of baby choking. 

baby choking heimlich

I look into my rear view mirror. 

imaginary baby in backseat rear view mirror

FANTASY

“It’s okay sweetie. We’ll be home soon.” (SAID OUT LOUD)

Humiliation. 

I’m Pathetic. 

I’m Delusional.

There’s no baby back there, idiot! 

empty back seat

REALITY

I need to rake my front yard. 

Not my house

Not my house

Why did I just speak aloud to an imaginary baby? 

imaginary friend baby picture quote

Trace train of thought back to sloppy joes while sitting in my car. 

manwich

I’m blogging about this. 

wordpress logo
I’m fucking crazy. 

crazy blonde

Shit! Frozen food! 

frozen food aisle grocery store

Welcome to my _______ life. You can choose the adjective. I can’t decide. 

I’VE OFFICIALLY LOST MY MIND. 

I just spoke aloud to an imaginary baby in the back seat of my car like I was a seasoned mother just going about her day. Seriously? This did not just happen.

Advertisements

4 responses to “Train of Thought (WTF)

  1. mandy1981 says:

    Greatest blog post ever!

  2. corhampton says:

    This is hilarious. If it makes you feel better … Been there. Done that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: