Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Russian Dolls and US Weekly drive me to drink

on March 4, 2013

Sorry folks.  I dropped off the planet.   First of the year is always a little nutty for me in my “day job” – and this year in particular was more crazy than usual.

You see, I got promoted at work (yay, me!).  And that changed my job scope and volume tremendously.  This has become a good distraction for me in this whole baby-making adventure.  It was working wonderfully!

Until last week.

Remember the Jennifers?  The ones who do everything together, including (apparently) ovulating and sexing?  The ones who waddled past my office together to the bathroom every day for 9 months last year, and all went on maternity leave at one time?

Yeah.  They’re pregnant.  Again.  And yes, I said “they.”

I know you recall my Christmas Party from Hell where they’re non-Jennifer friend announced her pregnancy just before Christmas (and the same day I got my period).  Well, a month later, one of the Jennifers announced she was pregnant again (after only being back from maternity leave 3 months).  She sent it out in a weird “thumbprint” email announcement– her thumbprint, her husband’s thumbprint, her baby’s thumbprint making a little flower.  And, yes, I got my period the same day she announced.

The good news is, when the next pregnancy announcement came, I didn’t get my period.  Not because I didn’t get my period at all – THAT would be absurd.  It was because the next one came a mere TWO weeks later.    Another Jennifer.  Pregnant again.    She told us by way of an email depicting three little Russian dolls decreasing in size – Lindsay Beth (due in July!!), Jennifer 1 (due in August!!) and Jennifer 2 (Due in September!!!).

I came home and turned into the girl from the Exorcist – screaming, throwing up pea soup on anyone who came near me.  I get on Facebook (with wine in hand) to try to distract myself from the day’s announcement, when what do I see?

ANOTHER teammate announcing her pregnancy on Facebook.  Except SHE created a personal US Weekly cover to announce the news.  What IS IT with these people?  When did pregnancy announcements become the new birth announcements?

Next thing I know we’ll be getting professionally designed cards in the mail proclaiming, “WE OVULATED!”  or “WE UNFROZE THE SPERM!”  or simply “WE SCREWED LAST NIGHT!”

For those keeping score at home, that’s FOUR women on my team (of only 20 people) who are all pregnant and due between July and September.  FOUR.  THREE of whom announced within 2 weeks of one another; TWO of whom announced the  People.  I can’t make this shit up if I tried.

Remember when I said I was getting better at dealing with it?

Yeah.  Just kidding.


7 responses to “Russian Dolls and US Weekly drive me to drink

  1. I’m so with you on the pregnancy announcements? When did this become a thing? I blame Pinterest. On the other end of the spectrum from the weird cutesy ones, a few months ago one of my husband’s coworkers thought it was appropriate to send people a photo of the positive HPT. I don’t understand people. Sending positive thoughts to you.

  2. I am sorry…uhhhhh… Angry + annoying = angroying. I’m angroyed at them with you.

  3. Courtney says:

    “Creative” pregnancy announcements irritate the hell out of me. I swear, these people think that we ALL care as much as them that they’re procreating – and in most situations – we could care less! I always laugh at people who get upset that someone “stole their pregnancy thunder” by spilling the beans at work that they’re expecting, because “I wanted to be the one to tell people.” Well, that’s all well and good, but guess what? NO ONE CARES! Sure they’re happy for you, but they could care less how they hear it and who they hear it from. GAH!

    You were bombarded with pregnancy announcments, and STUPID ones, and for that, I am sorry!

  4. KS says:

    Just makes me want to smack “The Jennifers” and I don’t even know them. The most obnoxious thing is the US annnouncement. Gag!

  5. ivfmale says:

    Well that just sucks! But I sure could have used a card for “I ejaculated in a plastic cup and didn’t spill a drop!” because that felt like an accomplishment the first time I attempted it.

  6. Kitten says:

    Wow. That’s all I can say.

  7. […] Russian Dolls and US Weekly drive me to drink Mar […]

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