Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

My “Moonstrual” Cycle

full moon
Admittedly, I’ve been a little lackadaisical and uninspired with conception efforts and cycle tracking the last few months. I still want a baby badly, but after more than a year of obsessive tracking, peeing, temping and charting, it has become frustrating.
I was sitting in my backyard by our fire pit a few nights ago and noticed the moon was getting close to full. It got me thinking. Do I ovulate on the full moon? The next morning, I pulled up the moon calendars back to November and, sure enough, I have ovulated within a day of the full moon and started bleeding a day within the new (or no) moon. That’s odd, I thought. How have I not noticed this before? Is this normal? My cycle averages 29-31 days and the lunar month is 29.5 days long. I just didn’t bother to put two and two together.
february 2013 moon lunar calendar
My acupuncturist consulted the moon calendar each time he set a new appointment for me, but I didn’t make the correlation. I just thought certain moons had certain effects on a cycle, not ever realizing my cycle followed the moon cycle so closely. I knew the word “month” was originally “moonth” thanks to the History Channel and that the words shared an origin. I did not know that “menses” and “menstruation” were of the same root. Obviously, I should have picked up on all of this a lot sooner, and paid a little more attention to the in-your-face etymology.
Google time. It turns out that early women (think huts, loin cloths and monoliths) ovulated and bled according to the moon. The light energy of the full moon, to which they were readily exposed, triggered ovulation and, when the sky fell black with the new moon, menstruation began. These women, all living in close proximity, were completely in sync with the moon and each other. Even better, the full moon acted as a bat signal to the men for sex and procreation.
I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “Watch out. It’s a full moon. The crazies are out.” Yeah, crazy horny people that is. Perhaps, the sexual link to the moon in early times served as the foundation for what we think of now when we see a full moon. We think, “Watch out for the drunks, werewolves and freaks,” but maybe we should be thinking, “Let’s get it on!”
I found an interesting site that explained what each moon phase means, and I couldn’t believe how much it correlated to the menstrual cycle and the accompanying emotions. This site includes information on bleeding during different moons, so feel free to check out how your cycle matches up.
Here’s a break down. I’m adding personal notes parenthetically, the rest is word for word from this site.
(Ovulation) The full moon represents fire, abundance, power and vitality. It’s time to claim one’s own power, make decisions, work changes, and bring something into being. (This is definitely the time of the month during which I’m most confident and productive.)
(Two Week Wait/Luteal Phase) The waning moon represents maturity and harvest. It’s time for persistence, for making reality out of the visions and impulses. (I spend quite a bit of time during this phase attempting to stay positive and convince myself good things are in the works.)
(Menstruation Begins) The new moon represents the dark and mysterious power of the deep. Existing structures have fulfilled their purposes, and need to be destructed, or reconstructed to make room for the new. (Wow. If that doesn’t describe your period, I don’t know what does.)  The energy of new moon bleeding is inwards, self-nourishing. During this time, anxieties, memories, and experiences may rise up, eager to be dealt with. It’s a good time to take stock, and to draw conclusions from them. New moon menstruation is a strong time of healing and renewal. (Yes, yes and yes. Dealing with emotions, anxiety, and darkness? Check!)
(Follicular Phase) Waxing moon represents new beginnings and growth. New ideas are being planted. New processes are coming into play. New experiences and events are within reach. (I make new plans and decide to try new things regarding TTC. This seems to be the time of the month I’m most creative, too.)
moon cycles explained meaning
Pretty cool, right? I was excited to see how closely I followed the moon cycle, but not all women do. Times have changed, we no longer live by the moonlight, and artificial light can cause women to follow different moon cycles. I found a website with tips on how to get back in sync with the moon cycles. One suggestion was to sleep in complete darkness (no TV, night lights, etc.) during the new moon.
I mentioned above that I compared my charts to moon calendars dating back to November. Since November, when I left my job and started my own company, I have spent much more time outdoors than usual. I work on my patio throughout the day and night, instead of sitting indoors. I’m not sure if this had an impact on regulating my cycle, but it’s intriguing nonetheless.
moon menstrual cycle chart calendar
I found an interesting study regarding moon cycles, ovulation and the resulting gender of the children conceived. I’m including the abstract below, but you can find more information here.
Effects of full moon and no moon on the birth of male and female offsprings were studied in Indian Couples of the age group 20 to 40 years. It was observed that 42 wives who were conceived within 24 hours of ovulation at full moon gave birth of 40 male and 2 female babies. On the other hand 40 women conceived on the day of ovulation 3 days prior to full moon gave birth of 13 male and 27 female babies. But only 5 women conceived on no moon, all of them gave birth of female babies. It was also observed that vaginal pH of the ovulated women during full moon was alkaline (pH 8.7 +/- 0.4) while pH was weak acidic in women ovulated 3 days prior to full moon and no moon (pH 6.4 +/- 0.5; 6.2 +/- 0.5). The basal body temperature (BBT) was increased 0.7 degrees F to 1.3 degrees F during the ovulation period when compared with women during the absence of ovulation. But there is an increase in temperature 0.5 degrees F more in women ovulated in full moon than no moon. Together, these results indicate that alkaline vaginal fluid medium and more rise of BBT during full moon favour conception of male [corrected] babies. This method gives the couple more chance of having male child if conception occurs in the day of ovulation in full moon and having female child if conception occurs in no moon.
This was a small study, but the findings were considered statistically significant. Some interesting take home inferences:
-Full moon ovulation resulted in a much higher rate of male births
-Ovulation three days before full moon resulted in more female births
-New moon ovulation resulted in all female births
-Only a small percentage of women ovulating on the new moon conceived at all
-The moon may have an impact on vaginal pH and body temperature
I could spend years researching the moon and tide effects on the body, but I won’t. It was fun to learn what I have included here and now I know to buckle down and get to business as the moon begins to grow. And to prepare myself when the sky gets dark. I don’t think any of this means I have a better chance of conceiving just because I ovulate with a full moon. I do, however, have a lunar reference if I run out of OPKs.
What do you guys think of this? How does your cycle match up with the moon?  Have you heard of any other moon/menstruation/conception myths, studies or theories? 
Time to run! It’s a full moon today, baby. Owwww owwww owwww! (That was supposed to be a wolf howling.)
wolf howling full moon
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Train of Thought (WTF)

We’ve all done this: You’re driving in your car, maybe singing along to the music, and you realize you’re thinking about something bizarre. You stop and try to trace it back to its origin. Z came from Y, Y came from X, X came from W, and so on. You try to get back to A. Good luck. It’s a pain in the ass. By the time five minutes has passed, you have forgotten the “bizarre” thing that ignited your puzzle and you’re in your driveway. “Did I run that last stop sign?”

This is how my twelve minute drive went heading home from the grocery store today.

I haven’t had sloppy joes in ages. Quick simple meal. I like it. 

manwich

Should I toast the Hawaiian sweet rolls? 

kings hawaiian sweet rolls

BBQ or oven? 

weber grill bbq
Oven. 

vintage stove oven

Oh, Facebook yesterday. Eww. 

The sign is hard to read. This food has been sitting our for 2 years!

The sign is hard to read. This food has been sitting our for 2 years!

And eww. 

Wanted to vomit watching this movie in college. Went to McDonald's the next day anyway.

Wanted to vomit watching this movie in college. Went to McDonald’s the next day anyway.

Reminds me of all that crap that came out about school lunches a while back. Pink sludge. 

pink slime school lunches fast food chicken

I’m making lunches for my kids once they start school. 

vintage mom kid baking cooking

I loved PB&J when I was little. 

PB&J peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Shit. Peanut allergy restrictions in schools. 

peanut allergy in schools restrictions

Almond butter.

almond butter

“Green light! Go asshole.”

When can toddlers eat almonds? 

google picture

Thoughts of baby choking. 

baby choking heimlich

I look into my rear view mirror. 

imaginary baby in backseat rear view mirror

FANTASY

“It’s okay sweetie. We’ll be home soon.” (SAID OUT LOUD)

Humiliation. 

I’m Pathetic. 

I’m Delusional.

There’s no baby back there, idiot! 

empty back seat

REALITY

I need to rake my front yard. 

Not my house

Not my house

Why did I just speak aloud to an imaginary baby? 

imaginary friend baby picture quote

Trace train of thought back to sloppy joes while sitting in my car. 

manwich

I’m blogging about this. 

wordpress logo
I’m fucking crazy. 

crazy blonde

Shit! Frozen food! 

frozen food aisle grocery store

Welcome to my _______ life. You can choose the adjective. I can’t decide. 

I’VE OFFICIALLY LOST MY MIND. 

I just spoke aloud to an imaginary baby in the back seat of my car like I was a seasoned mother just going about her day. Seriously? This did not just happen.

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Liebster Nominations, Baby!!!

liebster blog award

So, punctuality is clearly not one of our strong suits.   I mean, who has time to think of anything else when you’re temping, charting, checking fluid, and peeing on OPKs!

Well, WE have time.  Especially since we’ve both decided to kick off 2013 with a new outlook on PTC (formerly known as TTC).   So, without further ado, we want to extend a big fat THANK YOU to the many bloggers who nominated us for a Liebster Award:

IVFMale, CMDCupcake, Erin, and MyBrokenOven! There are links to each of their blogs below. Please check them out!

We are touched beyond words that you read our crazy antics and don’t log off when you see just how unstable we are.  AND – that you wanted to know even more about us!  Whaaaaat?   You guys are too much!   And, thank you for giving us something else to think about for a little while (and for reminding us that there is more to each of us than our empty wombs and bad eggs).  So, much love to you all!  And, below you will find the answers to all of your questions!

And, we certainly plan to pay it forward.  After our answers you will find our list of  Liebster nominations, and the questions we’re dying to have answered!

Love and double lines,

The Eggs

About the Liebster Award: This award is intended for bloggers with less than 200 followers. In order to accept your nomination, you must answer 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you, and then create 11 questions of your own for your 11 nominees to answer. It’s all about paying it forward and encouraging your favorite bloggers to continue writing.

Questions from: Cmdcupcake

When did you start your blog & why?

We started our blog in September 2012 because we were in search of similar minds and experiences. We met on a message board on a TTC forum and developed an instant connection. On that message board, we both were beginning to feel somewhat disconnected and discomforted through our struggles on the boards.  So, we thought blogging would not only serve a cathartic purpose for us personally, but would introduce us to a supportive community.   A community where we could not only get the support we were seeking, but we could offer some support to others like us.  And, we were right!

When was your “a-ha” moment on your fertility journey where you decided to get serious?

SS: About six months after my miscarriage and repeated failed attempts at natural conception. I began temping, charting, and acupuncture at that time.  I also swallowed my pride and read my first “fertility/infertility” book.

Scrambled:  About 4 months into the process.  I already have one child (age 4).  We had a little trouble conceiving him due to my irregular cycles.  But, once I read TCOYF and charted my temps and fluid ONE MONTH, I got pregnant – because I pinpointed my late ovulation.  This time around, I totally thought, “I got this.”  So, we waited until we were ready to have another one; when our son was at that “perfect age” for a sibling.  Little did we know it would take us going on two years this time around.  About 4 months after we began TTC #2, I had already experienced a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage (which left me in the hospital on Good Friday confirming a miscarriage).  At that moment, I realized this is harder this time around.  I’m older.  My body is jacked.  We’re going to have to get help.

If you could start from the beginning, would you change anything during your TTC journey? If so, what?

SS: Yes! I would have started charting much earlier and would have reached out to a fertility specialist sooner.

Scrambled:  Not really this time around.  I was already charting, temping, checking fluids, taking supplements.  Regardless of your drive, most doctors won’t allow you to pursue infertility treatment until you’ve been TTC for X months.  In my case this time, it was 6 months.  That’s when we started the IVF classes, etc.

Favorite coffee drink?

SS: the kind with caffeine. Haha! I’m a hazelnut and Splenda addict.

Scrambled: Ditto SS!!   My go-to is “grande skinny Caramel Macchiato with two splendas”

Pets? Tell me about them.

SS: oh, yes. Dogs: Kaili, Kona, and Blue. All large breeds mix rescues and the loves of my life. Also, two cats, Colbie and Karma. We had a third cat, Grandma, but she decided she liked our neighbor more and ditched us. Beeotch kitty.

Scrambled:  One dog.  A beagled named Scout.  She has been with me since she was 6 weeks old – and she’s almost 15 now.  I know her time with us is becoming limited, and it breaks my heart to think of her gone because my son is at the perfect age to love and annoy her all at once.  He has requested a little couch for her so she can sleep in his room J

What’s one thing that not a lot of people, if any, in the real world know about you? (Don’t worry, cyberspace is safe)

SS: I have anxiety (diagnosed, not just perceived.)

Scrambled:  I have shark teeth.  Like, in my mouth, not on a necklace.  My front 5 teeth have a tiny second row of teeth behind them.  You can’t see them, and they serve no purpose.  But I can feel them with my tongue.  If asked, I will let you touch them.  I can tear up a steak.  😀

What is one piece of wisdom you can give to someone who is in your current situation? Whether that is as a mom, a wife, a TTCer, etc?

SS: Don’t lose hope and try to talk about it with someone other than your partner who truly understands.

Scrambled:   Don’t let it define you.  Find ways to cope outside of trying to “fix” your situation.

Celebrity Crush??

SS: Three-way tie: Will Smith, Tiger Woods, and Chelsea Handler.

Scrambled:  Oh man.  Matt.  Damon.   Sigh.   Yes.  Matt Damon.  And, rounding out the Top 3:  James Badge Dale and Zac Efron (I’m a cradle robber)

One thing you love & hate about winter?

SS: Hate: the cold. Love: Christmas music. It’s all I play for a month straight.  My poor husband…

Scrambled:   Love Christmas.  And being able to hide the fat better 🙂    I hate that it gets dark so early.

Favorite holiday/s & why?

SS: Halloween. It’s a chance to escape from reality and be goofy.

Scrambled:  Halloween and Christmas.  I love dressing up and being silly, and I love throwing parties.  Both holidays enable lots of festive activities.

Will you follow and support these other fine bloggers listed?

SS: Abso-fricken-lutely!

Scrambled:  Of course!

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Questions from: Ivfmale  (duplicate questions omitted if previously answered)

Describe one feature you wish WordPress had that it doesn’t.

SS: an “I want your autograph” button. There are some amazing bloggers out there who are destined to make it big, and I’d love to get my hands on those soon-to-be famous John Hancocks.

Scrambled:  I like SS’s answer J   I wish it was a little more intuitive and user-friendly.  It seems very manual at the moment.

What quality about yourself are you most proud of?

SS: my optimism

Scrambled:  my sense of humor

Describe your fondest childhood memory.

SS: My dad took my sister and I to the caves in Hanalei on the island of Kauai. In case you didn’t know, that’s where Puff the Magic Dragon lives. Ten year-olds love that $hit. “…and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hanalei.”

Scrambled:  I have so many.  I had a pretty awesome childhood.  Great parents (still together, 43 years later), a good sister, a good life.  We grew up going to a summer/weekend lake house – so waterskiing, swimming and taking friends there was just an every weekend activity for us.

Tell me about your first car.

SS: Beater. Bought it in a mall parking lot for $1000. 1989 Nissan Sentra. My sister got it as a hand-me-down. Poor girl.

Scrambled:  I turned 16 in 1991.  My first car was a 1987 Blue Chevy Cavalier.  Two door.  I bought it with money I’d saved from babysitting for 4 years.  I didn’t pick it out.  My parents literally took my money out of my bank account a month before my 16th birthday, went to the car lot WITHOUT ME, and bought my car – with MY money.  And then I continued to make payments on that car until I went to college.  They graciously paid the insurance J

Who inspires you and why?

SS: My mother. She is resilient, hard-working, youthful, funny, loving, and a peace maker. She brags about me sometimes, too, so that’s nice. I guess all moms do though. Haha!

Scrambled:  My mom.  She is tough as nails and fragile as glass all in one.  She had only a high-school education and aspired to be so much more.  Her commitment to adult education, career and family and her ability to balance it all showed me that I could be an awesome mom, but not just a mom.

Tell me the most recent joke you’ve heard that was really funny.

SS: I guess it’s more of a funny line, but whatever. “Halloween is all about being something you’re not, so that’s why most girls go as ‘sexy’.” Cracked me up!

Scrambled:  It’s really really dirty… I’ll think about telling you later J  But it had to do with oral sex and a grandma.  You’re welcome.

What do you want others to remember you by?

SS: Making their day/life/situation a little better.

Scrambled:  Making them smile/laugh amidst their struggles.

Which question above do you wish I hadn’t asked?

SS: Childhood memory. My parents divorced when I was young, so it’s hard to define just one part of the two different lives I experienced.

Scrambled:  Don’t have one… they were all good. J

What question didn’t I ask you wish I had?

SS and Scrambled: Most embarrassing moment. Too bad for you 😉 haha!

Do you think I made up the last two questions because I ran out of questions?

SS and Scrambled:  Well, of course not. (code for YES)

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Questions from: Mybrokenoven

What is the one thing (not person) you can’t live without?

SS: Tank tops. I wear one everyday no matter what.

Scrambled:  my phone.  And mascara.

What is the last thing you do before you go to bed at night?

SS: Watch trashy shows in bed after my husband falls asleep. The Housewives, Kardashians, 90210, etc. Gotta get my girly fix. I’m also a closet midnight eater. My nightstand often looks like a crime scene at a 7-11.

Scrambled:  Watch TV in bed with my hubby, or if he falls asleep, I switch it to Friends and play Words with Friends on my iPad.

What is your best trait?

SS: Positive outlook/optimism

Scrambled:  Ability to counsel folks, and my sense of humor.

When was the last time you laughed, and what made you do it?

SS: Good laugh? Two nights ago I spent hours watching this hilarious couple on YouTube prank each other. Prank V. Prank is their channel. I’m now convinced this is my calling, but I giggle far too much to pull off a prank.

Scrambled:  Last night, when I was explaining my depression and frustration about infertility to a friend and how “hopeless” I feel.  She said, “You need to find a counselor to talk to.”  And I replied, “I tried.  She won’t call me back.”  – and the irony of that cracked us both up that we laughed til tears were rolling.

What was your worst year of school and why?

SS: Hmmm. Tough one. I’m going to be less specific and say middle school. It was such an awkward time. So many changes emotionally, physically, and socially. I can imagine it’s only worse nowadays.

Scrambled:  Eesh.  That is tough.  Jr. High was rough for me.  Bad teeth, bad glasses, bad hair.  Ugh.  Stop talking about it

What was the last dream you had that you remember?

SS: I can’t remember but it probably involved my teeth falling out and/or being naked from the waist down. Pretty standard for me (in dreams!) I did have a dream a few nights ago about my little sister giving birth to a baby girl, but just the head. I was awesome taking care of her and had no problem screwing her head onto a plastic body so she looked normal. WTF? And she could talk from day one. Pretty impressive for a body-less baby.

Scrambled:  It involved Brad and Angelina – because of our Inappropriate Elf.  In my dream, I may or may not have been the nanny.  Don’t judge me.

What were you for Halloween (the last time you dressed up)?

SS: A pirate. Yes, cliche. I know. And yes, a slutty one. ~shame~

Scrambled:  Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood.

If you could live anywhere where would it be?

SS: 6 months or less: Las Vegas. Forever: Somewhere Figi-ish as long as my husband and future children could be happy and successful there too.

Scrambled:  6 months or less:  Hawaii.  Forever?  NC.  I love it here.

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

SS: Oh yeah, plenty. I grew up in Southern California. Earthquake drills were as common as fire drills.

Scrambled:  Yes – once.  And I live in NC, so we were all “WTF was that?!”

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Questions from: Erin

What is your absolute favorite meal? What makes it so great?

SS: Frozen burritos or quesadillas and Texas Pete. Like half a bottle of Texas Pete!

Scrambled:   Depends on the day.  If I’m sick/under the weather?  Homemade chicken pastry (chicken and dumplings for all you yankees out there).  Otherwise, just call me Bubba Gump.  Shrimp.  Shrimp.  Shrimp.   I love pasta in cream sauce or olive oil with grilled shrimp.  I love fried shrimp and tartar sauce.  I love shrimp po’boys.  Shrimp kebabs.  Shrimp and grits.  Ohhhhh.  Shrimp and grits.  Be right back.

Do you have any funny nicknames for your significant other? Past significant others?

SS: Not that I can think of. Just the boring, “babe.” Now, I want to come up with one though!

Scrambled:  No.  I call him “Hun” or “babe” a lot.  He doesn’t call me anything – which bugs the hell out of me (in case he’s reading this – ahem).  I love pet names.  They just show that you mean something to somebody.  Anyone can call me “Shannon” (hey – there you go – I just came out of anonymity!  But when you really know someone you have a nickname for them.  All my friends call me “Sha” (pronounced Shay) – and have since college.  I had an old boyfriend who used to call me Pookie.  I used to love it – now it sounds really dumb.  😀

What are your pet peeves? (We all have them…)

SS: Chewing with your mouth open, one-upping, and too many self-portraits on Facebook.

Scrambled:  People who use “I” when “Me” is correct (simply because they want to sound smart).  Correct:  He and I went to high school in North Carolina.   Incorrect:  Please send the email to him and I.   If you remove the “Him” that sentence sounds stupid:  Please send the email to I.  That’s how you know “me” is appropriate.  You’re welcome.

Do you have any funny stories? Name one that sticks out. (Whether about yourself or someone you know)

SS: Years ago DH and I were getting ready for bed and my phone chimed. He grabbed it playfully and said, “Who the hell is ev-int-rem-in-dur?!” I had no idea who that was so I grabbed my phone only to see “Event Reminder: (Someone’s) Birthday” on my screen. It was pretty funny and we still laugh about it to this day. Quick witted guy!

Scrambled:  I have too many to name.  Like the time I flew out of the side of a golf cart and slid down an entire green on my stomach (and face).   Or more recently – when I POAS so many times that a used HPT internet cheapie strip ended up in Sunnyside’s Christmas gift bag and she found it in the bottom of the bag when she got home.

How did you and your partner meet?

SS: We were both really into poker and gambling and had a mutual friend who invited both of us out for a casino cruise. It was the first time we met, I asked for his number, and the rest is history. That was almost seven years ago…geez!

Scrambled:  Online.  By accident.  I was helping a friend set up a Match.com account and saw his profile and snagged him for myself.   My hubby had just moved to the area, was painfully shy and not a club go-er.  He had a profile online but until then hadn’t dated anyone he’d talked to.  🙂

What is your biggest fear?

SS: Failure. I sometimes find myself not trying as hard as I should so I can fall back on “Well, I could’ve done more. It wasn’t a true failure.” Awful trait.

Scrambled:  Getting old.  I’m obsessed with aging.  I look at old movies with actors who were so young, like we are now.  And think, “Wow.. I wonder if they ever thought they’d look like THIS now?” and I wonder what my husband and I will look like when we’re 65.   On a less intense level – I hate eating alone in public.  It makes me anxious.  If I know I have to do it, I’ll bring a book, computer, iPad, phone or something so it looks like I’m insanely busy and important – and not eating alone.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

SS: I’m pretty proud of my degree and the things I accomplished in college (Sports, academics, leadership, etc.) Most recently, I’m proud of taking a risk and giving up my good-paying job to start my own company.

Scrambled:  My 4-year-old son.  He’s the best part of me.  He’s funny, smart, courteous, sweet, curious.  He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.  Professionally, I’m proud of my career.  I work at the best company in the world (literally – just named) and am in charge of corporate communications to tell its story.  I’m proud of everything I do here.

What is one thing that always makes you happy when you are in a miserable mood?

SS: Upbeat music, a kiss or cuddle from the pups, a surprise phone call from a friend, or watching/listening to something comedic.

Scrambled:  90s country music.  boy bands.  a sweet note from a friend.  something funny out of my kiddo’s mouth.

In high school, what clique were you in? Do you feel if you were back there now you would be in that same clique?

SS: I pretty much only hung out with the cross country and track team members, a few close girlfriends, and my long-term boyfriend. I was not in the “cool crowd,” but I wasn’t completely ostracized either. I came out of my shell in college, so I think if I were to go back now, things would be different. I’m not scared and shy anymore. That being said, I’ll pass on going back 🙂

Scrambled:  I was in every clique.  I was in all the advanced placement classes, so I was friends with the nerds.   I played softball and went to all the football games, so I was friends with the athletes, cheerleaders, etc.  I was in a lot of social clubs, so I was friends with the popular kids.  I was on student council committees, homecoming committees, etc., so my friends spanned all groups.  And I am pretty proud of that – that I never flocked to one or alienated another.

What is your New Years Resolution?

SS: Stop letting TTC rule my life, start running again, and consider others and their feelings more often.

Scrambled:  What she said 😉    Plus, lose some weight.  Focus on my marriage and not just TTC.

liebster blog award 200 followers

Our Nominations: 

Expecting to be Expecting (expectingtobeexpecting.wordpress.com)
Fill My Nest (fillmynest.wordpress.com)
Will Work 4 Baby (willwork4baby.wordpress.com)
I Want Does Not Get (iwantdoesnotget.wordpress.com)
Yet Another Bitter Infertile (yetanotherbitterinfertile.wordpress.com)
All the Sun for You (allthesunforyou.wordpress.com)
Barren and Unemployed (barrenandunemployed.wordpress.com)
Today I Bought Waterproof Mascara (todayiboughtwaterproofmascara.wordpress.com)
Late for a Very Important Pregnancy (lateforaveryimportantpregnancy.wordpress.com) Conception’s Bitch (conceptionsbitch.wordpress.com)          

Please check out these wonderful, entertaining blogs! 🙂                                                      

Our Questions: 

1. What was your worst job and why?
2. What do you notice first when meeting someone?
3. What is your favorite condiment? What do you put it on?
4. What’s your favorite sexual position?
5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
6. What was your worst idea ever? Did you act on it?
7. What do you most often forget to do that you should do?
8. What is your favorite movie quote?
9. Where was the worst placed you visited? What made it so bad?
10. Do you poop while talking on the phone?
11. What is your personal mantra?
Bonus Question: Do you own pajama jeans? If so, where do you where them?

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Infertile/Struggling to Conceive & Engaged?!

If you are struggling to conceive and you’re engaged to be married, please let us know! We may have quite the treat for you 🙂

You can send us an email at TOOGOODEGGS@gmail.com or private message us on twitter. We will have more details if we can find enough couples to participate. Just let us know how long you’ve been trying to conceive and your wedding date, if you’ve set one. We’ll take it from there! 🙂

We always have a few tricks up our sleeves. And for those of you who are already married, do you know of any couples you might want to nominate?

The two of us have some great things in store for ALL of you in the coming months!

everyone married pregnant someecard

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Destination: Sanity

We are back on the baby-making train and I’m starting to look at and feel differently towards the whole situation. Last year was ruled by our desire to get pregnant, and if this takes another year or two, I don’t want to look back a see a giant PAUSE in my life. For heaven’s sake, women are fantastic multi-taskers, but why does this endeavor become so encompassing that we seem to achieve so very little otherwise?

We all know that in terms of actual time, trying to conceive is not very burdensome. Most of the things involved take only a matter of minutes to complete. Whether its testing, temping, dosing, or charting, we’re only looking at a few minutes a day. No big deal, right? Sex may or may not fall into this category, but we can probably all agree that three minutes can sometimes feel like forever–for both parties involved. I’m just sayin’.

If the actual process is not very time consuming then why are we so inundated and exhausted? We have created, and fed, this life/faith/time/energy-sucking monster! It is not a necessary inclusion. We think about it ALL the time! We are planning, researching, comparing, judging, googling, testing, questioning, recovering, preparing, and reading way too much, in my opinion. This is where the whole damn thing gets ugly. A good friend of mine often says, “over-analysis is paralysis,” and I believe I have paralyzed myself over the last year. Rarely a thought pops into my head that does not involve or lead to thoughts of a pregnancy or baby. Does all this extra time lead to better results in the end? Maybe. Perhaps, we are more educated, more in tune with our bodies and partners, and more understanding of others who similarly struggle. However, I believe the negative impacts outweigh the positive here. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of beating myself up, questioning my every move, acting/thinking selfishly, and doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. Isn’t that the definition if insanity? Aha! That’s what I’ve become. Insane. And I hate it.

Scrambled is definitely on to something here. I received my copy of Love and Infertility and I can’t wait to jump in head first. Having not read the book yet, I have a list of changes I’d like to make as I venture toward reclaiming my sanity.

1. No temping. My charts freak me out and blur reality.
2. Plan a pregnancy around my life, not the other way around. No more “I can’t travel that week because I’ll be ovulating.” I need to enjoy the present instead of trying to live in an idealistic future. Will missing one month really impact me enough that I need to prevent my life from happening? Nope.
3. No premature testing. I have wasted too much money to continue testing every time I pee from DPO 10-15. Enough is enough.
4. Start running again. I was a competitive runner all through high school and college and I miss it. Truthfully, I don’t miss the actual running, just the competitiveness and the stress-reduction benefits. Maybe this will help put me back in touch with my true self.
5. Think about OTHER people, and not from a “them v. me” point of view. Go out of my way to be there for others. My struggle is not the center of the universe!

I need to get a grip on my sanity. Pronto!

My sister and I used to go to garage sales with our grandparents growing up and have since adopted this pastime as a great way to bond on Saturday mornings. This is exactly how my out-of-control collection of baby items grew from a small box to an entire room. Last week, I thought it would be a nice gesture to reach out to someone in need of such things, someone who is actually pregnant, and donate some of what I’ve amassed. I went through all of the bins and had a hard time choosing what to give away. I held the little onesies in the air, rattled the toys, and rubbed the blankets against my cheek.

I started to feel jealousy creeping up as I searched and sorted. I was so attached to these material things, that I started to question the family in need. “Why give up my things, that I paid for with money I earned, to people who are not working and probably shouldn’t have a baby anyway?” What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?! I have no problem donating clothes, household items, and my time for people in need for other reasons, yet I question someone in need because they have something I don’t have. Reality check! Am I someone who deserves a baby then? Am I acting in a “mothering” way by judging others and being selfish? Is this how I behave in non-baby-related situations? It’s embarrassing, really.

I slapped myself a few times, made a pile to give away, and called the soon-to-be parents in need. It was the right thing for me to do. When the time comes for us, I’ll buy what I need. They need it more than I do right now.

While at a garage sale this weekend, I overheard a woman haggling for lower prices on baby bottles and clothes. I was trying to avoid buying any more myself so I perused the non-baby stuff while they spoke.

“Ten dollars sounds great. I don’t actually have a baby yet. We have been trying for a while. I’m want to stay on a budget until I know if I can get pregnant,” she shared with the homeowner. “Please pray for us and thank you so much!” She was so open, happy, and optimistic.

Yes! I’m not the only one who shops WAY ahead of time. (Although, I’m not as brave. I usually pretend I’m buying for someone else’s baby.)

It’s nice to not feel all alone, especially when it comes to the silly things. 🙂 I feel her pain though, and from that point of view, I wish we weren’t in the same (shitty) boat.

I feel like I have to keep having these “get a grip” conversations with myself every few months. Maybe this time I can make the changes stick. This is not about getting what I want when I want it. It’s not about having or not having. It’s not a race. This a time in my life, shared with my husband, to be happy, giving and grateful. I need to capitalize on all the things that make us happy, better people, not just future parents. It’s time for me to see the bigger picture.

How are you feeling about your progress and methods in this new year? Is there anything you’re trying to change? How do you stay sane?

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Exciting news from the eggs! And we need your help!

Nooooo, neither of us is knocked up.

Next best thing?  We finally met in person!  You may not know that Sunnyside and I met through an online support community while trying to conceive and became fast friends.  But, we live in different states!

This weekend, Sunnyside drove 500 miles north to visit me and we’ve been having the BEST time.  We can’t wait to show you our antics over the next few days, but until then, here’s one of our many shenanigans.

We entered the Inappropriate Elf on the Shelf photo contest.  And now, we need your help to make us a winner!

Here is our entry – and as you will see, not even Hollywood romances can last forever.

Poor Angelina.  Now she knows how Jennifer Aniston felt.  Angelina caught Brad with the nanny.  On their wedding day.

Please click the photo to go to the contest site and VOTE!  We are around #111, but the numbers change occasionally if the moderators disqualify any entries.  So, look for THIS photo, and click “like” on the contest page!  ALSO – if you’re willing, please share this with your followers on your blog/twitter/facebook and ask them to vote.  We’d really appreciate it!

bradnannyfinal

We can’t wait to show you more of what we’ve gotten into this week.  Stay tuned – and please vote for our photo!

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Have you held a newborn, lately?

I completely forgot to give this simple fertility trick the credit and attention it deserves. How can I be so naive? I grumble about all the new babies popping up everywhere, but they are THE ticket to having a baby of my own.

Innocent Friend: “Have you tried holding newborns?”
Me: Scoff. “Yeah, I don’t think it’s working.”
IF: “But I’ve heard that newborns make you more fertile.”
Me: “I’ve held plenty. I think it’s bull shit.”
IF: “But didn’t you get pregnant right after holding Kay’s newborn?”
Me: “Nope. Miscarried a few days before he was born.”
IF: “Oh. Well maybe try other newborns.”
Me: “Yeah…we’ll see.”

I know she wasn’t acting with malevolence, but I had to shake my head after hanging up. Do people really believe this is an honest, tried and true recommendation? Maybe. Lets see what “experts” have to say about it.

I searched ten different phrases and ended up with nothing but this:
Does holding a newborn make you fertile? 

I did find some other interesting topics, though.

Will it hurt my baby if a woman holds him while she’s on her period?

Women addicted to being pregnant is a severe psychological disorder. 


Can I mix Drano with urine to determine baby’s gender? 


Sewing while pregnant will injure the baby’s guardian angel and leave him unguarded.



We live in a crazy world, my friends. Perhaps this is not the most enlightening post, but I bet you feel pretty intelligent after reading all that nonsense.

So go hold a newborn, but not while you’re menstruating. Good luck!

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‘Tis the Season…for Baby Announcements

Amidst the rich foods, lights, football and parades part of my mind inevitably wanders to children during the holidays. I think of my friends who are celebrating their first Thanksgiving with a new little one and the ones whose children are old enough to really enjoy these weeks. I envy the parents rushing about to buy gifts for their tots and their efforts to hide every last one until Santa arrives. I want to develop a tradition and revel in the excitement, but until we have a little one of our own, the holidays just don’t feel the same. And no amount of bourbon-spiked egg nog can change that. Well, maybe a large amount for a brief reprieve.

Oh, great. Christmas Shoes just came on the radio. It’s my favorite, but geez does it get me!


…and it’s a song from a child’s perspective. Even better.

The holidays are a tough time for those who are longing in some way. 
-The twenty-something who will miss Christmas with her family for the first time because she can’t take off work.
-The infertile couple.
-The man who lost his mother earlier this year.
-The family who cannot afford gifts for their children due to a recent job loss.
In spite of the joy and hope in the air, it can be a difficult few months for many of us, for many reasons.

But guess what?! It’s also a very happy time as couples announce engagements…and pregnancies. Oh, joy! I had a conversation with my Dad on Thanksgiving about how rough this holiday season may be for us even though we’re stepping off the baby-making wagon for a few months. I was terrified to check Facebook because I KNEW there would be baby announcements. The same announcement I had planned to make if I were pregnant. (Side note: I will NOT make any type of baby announcement publicly during the holidays to protect fragile folks like me in the future.)

My announcement will look something like this…

And sure enough….

When He taketh one, He giveth one…..

July 2013 our family will welcome yet another blessing! Our God is AMAZING!

(Maybe wait a week to announce your new bundle after Grammy passes?? Just an idea…)

And another…

[Husband, daughter] and  I would like to announce what we are most thankful for this Thanksgiving weekend…the newest addition to our family! “Nugget” is due to arrive June 5, 2013 and we could not be more excited!

…and go ahead and pass me a noose.

And another today…yeesh…

Well [daughter] may get her Christmas wish after all… I’m Pregnant!!!!

Congrats, ladies. I’m thankful for your fertility and openness. God bless!

I’m sure there will be more before the ball drops in NYC. Guaranteed. 

________________________________________________________________________

‘Tis the season for happy family moments and announcements. I just need to find some of my own, without children.

“So excited to announce that this Christmas I will polish off several bottles of wine, chase them with White Russians, cry while singing sad carols, binge on a giant cheese ball platter, and sleep ’til noon… five days in a row…because I can.” 

I dont need those glasses. Straight from the bottle is fine.

Obviously, food and spirits do the trick for me 😉 What gets you through the holidays when your unfulfilled wish is a little one? 

PS: I’m so grateful for all of you. Though we have not met, each of you has helped me through a very trying time and I’m extremely thankful for your support. 

Just please don’t do this…

umm..no. No.

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Suggestion Box at Maximum Capacity

Deciding how and to whom we open up about TTC and fertility problems, and how we will deal with the responses is a real and difficult part of struggling to conceive.

I’m a very open person. Yes, I understand that’s a bit ironic since I’m writing under a pseudonym. 🙂 I find comfort in conversation, but this topic has been a tricky one for me.  Like many women, talking it out makes me feel better, but for some odd reason people squirm, avert their eyes, and blurt a hackneyed phrase as soon as the words “We have been trying for a while” leave my lips.  It’s as though I have told them I’m growing a tail and will be featured in a Discovery Channel documentary with my new appendage. “Weird Science: Woman grows tail, but no baby.” It’s SO awkward. Why? Millions of couples are struggling with the same thing, but if you talk about it in real life, you’re quickly led to believe infertility is a rare, horrible condition and you’re served a fat platter of pity and poor suggestions. Thank goodness for the blogosphere to keep us sane and help us realize we’re not alone or (completely) crazy.

I appreciate the genuine, heartfelt suggestions and words of encouragement, but they can be easily lost in the giant pile of crap dealt out by the majority.  Just when I think it’s safe to bring it up, it backfires and I want to shove feet in everyone’s mouth, including my own. After nearly a year, I’ve learned the hard way to keep my lips zipped more often than not. It’s unfortunate, really.

When someone shares a job loss, death in the family, or serious problem in their life, the responses are generally sympathetic, despite the sensitive and unfortunate nature of the situation. We listen, take pause, and carefully craft a loving, albeit brief, response. We often hear or say:
I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?
I’m here for you, no matter what.
What do you need right now?
Will it help you if I give you some space or would you like to talk about it?
I love you and I know you’ll get through this.
You’re a very strong person, but lean on me as much as you need to.
Do you want to go somewhere and get your mind off things for a while?

Why is the topic of infertility not dealt with in a similar fashion? I think any of those responses would be received well by most men and women struggling with conception.

Now, lets talk infertility. You share your story or mention your struggle to a friend, coworker, or family member. What do you hear in response?

Have you heard any of these?

I’m sure it will happen soon. 

At least you can have fun trying. 

Ooooh, fertility treatments are expensive. If you can’t afford that, how do you plan to afford a child?

Maybe you’re just thinking about it too much.

Maybe you’re trying too many things. 

Sometimes it just takes a while. Be patient. 

Have you thought about changing your diet? Exercising? Relaxing?

You guys are young. I’m sure nothing’s wrong. 

Are you sure you want to have kids? 

Are you sure he wants to have kids?

Why is now a good time to have a baby? 

Your job is too stressful. 

You can’t plan your whole life around TTC. Let it happen naturally. 

Oh, that sucks.  Did you see Suzie’s new baby? So cute!

You know being a parent is going to change your life, right? 

I know how you feel. I had an abnormal pap once.  It was so scary. (WTF?!)

Ugh! WHY do people think this is a good next move??

You’re lucky. I totally wasn’t expecting this pregnancy. I’m so busy already. 

Some people try for years and years. Why are you so stressed already? How are you going to handle it a year from now if you’re still not pregnant?

It’ll be okay. One day. At least you can sleep now. You won’t later. 

You can have my kids!

 

WHAT?! Can you imagine a variation of these statements being offered to someone who lost a job or loved one? I’m not saying that death is the same thing as infertility, but there is a common emotional thread that runs through both. We experience a degree of sadness, denial, anger, frustration, emotional outburst, failure, stress, loneliness, and a sense of loss with infertility, death, and job loss. I wish others better understood the emotional correlation. I know who to lean on now, after much trial and error, but maybe if people were more delicate in their approach, I wouldn’t be so reluctant to speak up. Until that time comes, my suggestion box is at maximum capacity. I can’t take another “just get over it, no big deal” offering. I’m at my limit.

What are your thoughts? (My suggestion box is wide open to you guys!)

(I just said my box is wide open.)

(Thats what she said.)

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The Anatomy of a Cycle

Day 1: The bitch arrives with fury and my idea to not buy tampons and jinx myself is now officially the worst idea ever. I drag my puffy-eyed ass to the grocery store to buy tampons, wine, chocolate, frozen burritos, hot sauce, Little Debbie cakes, ibuprofen, and more wine. I curse my body, vitamins, and anyone who crosses my path. I’m gonna adopt another dog.

If only feminine products were this fun for us!

Day 3: I start to think of what I can do differently this time around. Exercise more? Nah. Eat better? Sure, I’ll try. More sex? Exhausting, but fine. I rattle off a dozen more ideas. SOB…why didn’t it work LAST time?! How creative and unrelenting do I need to be to get pregnant. I bet the pregnant sixteen-year-old down the street has a few tips. Bitch!

Day 6: Ahh. New hope. Order new OPKs and PreSeed online? Check! I’m going to try X,Y,Z this month. New possibilities! My smile has genuinely returned. I start temping again.

Day 9: The EOD sex begins until I start seeing fertility signs. Then it is on like donkey kong for a few straight days! I look up estimated delivery dates and think about how I might announce our pregnancy depending on holidays, etc. Inevitably, I find an excuse to buy MORE baby stuff to add the embarrassing collection I’ve amassed and stored in the guest room closet.

Day 12: I hope I ovulate like a normal person this time around. I don’t have the patience to wait another week. Hello? Egg? Come on! I begin to stalk TTC forums.

Day 15: Yay! Ovulation is near and I start to feel like this is THE month, as usual. OPKs are getting darker. I become best friends with my peekachoo and her CM rub the tatas far too often. Wheres that tell-tale slip ‘n slide?

Day 18: The Two Week Wait is in full swing and my chart finally confirmed an egg. Now, it’s hands off for a little while. No more legs in the air! Come on boys, get that egg!

Day 21: Only five days into the TWW and it’s already dragging. Too early to test, but not too early to obsess. I notice every twinge and watch my temps like a hawk. Pregnancy charts are now always open in a window on my iPad. “Mine looks like that!”

Note the title of her chart…of course!

Day 24: I think the little eggie implanted last night. I felt a sharp stab while I was playing online poker. This “baby” likes to gamble, too. I ask DH if I have a glow yet. He laughs and tells me I’m always glowing. Hmmff!

Day 27: I’ve probably gone through an easy ten tests by now. Every time I pee, I test. Then examine. Then obsess. Then reexamine with a flashlight and a magnifying glass. All BFNs damnit. That’s okay. It’s still early, despite the fact that every girl on the forums can get a positive at 9 or 10 DPO! Whatever. My baby’s just a late bloomer.

Day 30: Mild cramps are incessant and my temperature is dropping. I won’t give up. I research anything and everything related to each of my insignificant symptoms. I get pissed. Why the hell is this so hard?! I empty all the pregnancy tests from the shelves at Target, CVS, and the Dollar Tree. I try six brands and drop 80 bucks. B…F…N.   I cancel automatic emails from the TWW Buddy Groups. I can’t stand to hear another BFP announcement, or the “I’m not pregnant, but we weren’t really trying so I’m cool with it!” GFY (Did anyone decipher that last acronym? I’m going to hell.)

I imagine this kid punching me in the face every time I get a BFN

And it starts all over again…

And for future reference:

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