Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Book Review: “Love and Infertility: Survival strategies for balancing infertility, marriage and life”

I recently provided a few infertility support resources that were made available to me through my company’s awesome work/life center and promised you a review of a couple of the books.

This weekend, I cracked open the first one.  I have admittedly become smitten with the e-reader craze.  I had no real allegiance to turning the pages of a book – words are words to me, generally speaking.  I haven’t read a real “book” in at least two years.  But, the first book:  “Love and Infertility:  Survival strategies for balancing infertility, marriage and life” came to me free from my company’s library, so I reluctantly reverted back to doing it old school.   Quickly, I became engrossed in holding my finger in between pages that resonated with me.  I tapped my fingers on the back of the book as I read.  I was… comforted… to be reading a real book.

Then it hit me.  This book was like me.

A little old.  A little used.  A little less than perfect.  Slightly cracked and bent.  Not quite broken.

book2

With my Kindle, I tend to skim pages faster; skip ahead a little.  As a writer and English major, I am often guilty of skipping ahead and skimming because I can surmise the plot direction without having to invest in every word.  I realized as I read this old-ish book that I was taking my time, slowly turning the pages and reading every word.

I’m not as young as I used to be.  My pages are dog-eared and they don’t turn as quickly.  Maybe I need to stop pressing “next page” on this TTC journey and concentrate on each page a little longer.

Hmmmm.

Ok – so onto the review.

This book?  Awesome.  For me, anyway.  It was the perfect balance of humor, relate-ability, common sense and faith.  I didn’t want a “Let Go and Let God” devotional.  I didn’t want a book full of sad stories to let me know how “it could always be worse.”  I needed something more.  Kristen Magnacca gave me exactly what I needed.

You see, I have felt myself pulling away from life.  I felt as though I was forcing myself to be unhappy, disappointed and sad.  I pulled away from intimacy with my husband – unless, of course, it was Day 16-20 of my cycle.  TTC was not about intimacy at all.  It had become methodical and scientific.  And, as such, any time sex was presented during non-optimal baby-making time, it was a turn off.  Because it just came wrapped in a blanket of anxiety and doubt.  I let myself go – all I cared about was getting pregnant.  I became unhappy with my appearance, my attitude.  Then, I became self-conscious that I was unattractive (inside and out) to my husband, which in turn led me to push non-essential sex away.  I found myself in a downward spiral.

I have been yearning for a way to feel happy.  Allow myself to feel happy.  Remind myself why I love my husband (and not just his sperm).  Remind myself why I was loveable.

In a matter of two hours, this book helped me find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Written from the perspective of a woman who struggled for 10 years to have her 2 children, this book quickly showed me that a) I’m not alone; b) it’s ok to get angry; c) I need to focus on ME, as well as my marriage.  AND – I read it in two hours.  Without putting it down.

Each chapter ends in an exercise you can do alone or with your partner.  It’s not deep breathing or meditation.  It’s writing things down and holding yourself accountable.  And, the kicker:  My husband agreed to read it and do these exercises with me.

From the inside flap of the book:

How can you balance life, your marriage and the process of creating your family?When trying to create a family, a couple’s normal life can be immediately and radically changed. Overwhelming feelings of confusion, hopelessness, and loss of control can leave couples working to overcome infertility unable to communicate with each other or proceed calmly with their daily lives. The effort to create a baby overrides all other activities, and after a while, making love can turn into making work!

Love and Infertility provides a lifeline for couples struggling with infertility. Author Kristen Magnacca shares twenty-eight simple yet powerful strategies to help couples open lines of communication, maintain a sense of control over their lives, and help them deal with the changes they’ll face while working to become parents.

Divided into three sections—Creating Your Destiny, Communicating as One, and Rolling with the Changes—Love and Infertility offers insight and direction to help couples navigate the swamp of infertility. Kristen introduces each strategy with a true experience from her own long struggle with infertility and then provides a step-by-step system to implement the recommendation into daily life.

In Love and Infertility, you’ll find:

  • Twenty-eight effective strategies that correspond to the average twenty-eight day fertility cycle
  • Useful tips for couples in all stages of conceiving—from those just starting out to those who have been trying for years
  • Interactive exercises for men, for women, and for both partners together: goals lists, talking points, “red-flag” phrases, and the patented “Elevator Speech” to rescue you from any situation

Though this time of your life may be emotional and strenuous, Kristen’s words of wisdom can help you regain control of your life, your marriage, and your happiness. You don’t have to go through this alone!

Early in the book, she challenges the reader to write down 3-5 dreams they want to accomplish in the next year.  Write it on a colorful index card and keep it with you all the time – in your planner, your wallet, whatever.  Ask your husband to do the same.  Help each other fulfill those dreams.

I think mine are going to be:

  1. Lose 20 lbs.
  2. Be pregnant before I’m 39.
  3. Take a photography class.

It’s ok if one of them says “Get Pregnant.”  Because one of the other chapters talks about the power of positive thinking.  For 17 months, we’ve been “trying” to have a baby.  “Trying” sets you up for “failing” – whereas, “planning” sets you up for achieving.  Subtle difference in writing – but a big difference to your subconscious.

This book gives funny anecdotes about not being able to face another round of questions regarding your baby making plans, or another pregnant belly, but quickly follows up with smart ways to escape those situations (and give your partner signals that you need to escape).  It provides easy ways to rekindle the spark with your spouse and remember why you want a family with them in the first place.

For me, it just gave me hope.  And renewed faith in the process.  Something I haven’t felt in a year.

This book isn’t rocket science.  You’re not going to find the crazy secret post-sex position you haven’t heard of before, or a new way to check cervical fluid.  You’re going to find real ways to cope with your baby-making struggles, while  finding yourself and renewing the strength of your marriage in the process.  Oh, and yeah, God is in there a time or two.  But, for me, it was just the right amount.

Which brings me to the other book I was going to read:  “When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden.”

After reading “Love & Infertility” in two hours, I picked up “When Empty Arms” and immediately felt annoyed and disinterested.  This book was stuffy, laden with spiritual references and had an immediate sense of “Poor You!  Poor, poor you!”

I put it down after two pages and won’t be going back to it.  It may be helpful to some; but for me, I have been sad long enough.  I needed something to help me focus on what matters.

Kristen’s “Love and Infertility” got me out of my elastic-waist pants and actually motivated me to shave my legs.

Now THAT is a miracle.

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A few good infertility resources

Apologies for the lack of witty and/or helpful posts lately, folks.  Tis the season to actually be able to focus on something other than infertility (though we all know it’s really always on our minds).  It’ s just a smidge easier to get distracted from it for a bit this time of year.

But, last week I was reminded of it harshly.  AF arrived with a vengeance at THE most insulting time possible (more on that later, because let me tell you – it’s a good story.  STILL pisses me off, but I have a feeling a few of it will find the humor in it.  I promise to post that story soon.  And yes, it was worse than this).

As a result, though, I was left in a bumbling heap of tears and alcohol (and fortunately, in the arms of Sunnyside, who drove 7.5 hours to come visit me last week – you may have seen some of the antics we got into).  For the first time since my miscarriage in April, I fell into a really dark place.  Not just sad or disappointed – but panic-stricken, hopeless, faithless depression.

You may have heard me mention that I work at a pretty phenomenal company.  In fact, we were just ranked the #1 workplace in the world (no lie).  We have amazing benefits and resources, of which I have only barely scratched the surface.

So, this week I reached out to our “Work/Life” contact to find out if there are any infertility resources available to employees (because they have marriage counselors, parenting counselors, financial advisers, fitness planners, grief counselors, etc).  She promptly sent me a long list of resources that I’m happy to share with you.  Your list isn’t as long as the one I received because some of the links, articles, videos, seminars are internal to employees and you can’t access them, unfortunately.  But here are some she recommended that aren’t behind our firewall:

Support Groups:

 This one is NC-based, but I think you can go into this site and find something closer to you.

Web pages:

Books:

Don’t worry – I vow not to recommend any “no shit, sherlock” book that tells you to have sex missionary style, raise your legs over your head, check cervical mucous or insert a thermometer into any bodily orifice.  We got that shit locked.  Here are a few resources about handling the insanity and emotional roller coaster, though:

  • Our bodies, our selves – highly-rated health-related book.  Description:  Our Bodies, Ourselves is the resource that women of all ages turn to for information about their bodies, sexuality, and reproductive health. Completely revised and updated, these pages provide women with the information and tools they need to make key health decisions—accurate, evidence-based information, input from leading experts, and personal stories from women who share their experiences. This new edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves includes the latest vital information on:

Changes in the health care system — especially how health care reform affects women and how to get the care you need.

Safer sex – how to engage in pleasurable, satisfying sexual experiences while protecting your health and the health of your partner.

Environmental health risks – including minimizing exposure to everyday pollutants that endanger reproductive health.

Body image – resisting negative media stereotypes and embracing healthier approaches to looking and feeling good.

Local and global activism – using social media and organizing tactics to build community and advocate for policies that improve women’s lives.

I hope these help you.  I’ve already requested the first two books from our campus library (yes, I know… my company rocks).  I’ll write a review of them when I get through them and let you know what I think – but, please tell me what you think if you read it first!
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The Childfree Buy Baby Stuff, Too! Keekoo Review

First of all, let me preface this review. I understand this is a trying to conceive blog, but I can’t possibly be the only woman out there who buys baby stuff before she’s expecting. If you’re like me (someone please say yes) then you might feel a little embarrassed about your premature purchases. You may buy things under the guise of “gifts for my friend” or stash the goodies in the back of your guest room closet, onesies and swaddling blankets hiding in the darkness. That’s okay. You’re not alone. I’ve accumulated enough to make me second guess the need for a baby shower in the future. Seriously.

Walking through the baby aisles is slightly uncomfortable sans bump or baby on hip, but online shopping is discreet and just as rewarding. Enter Keekoo.


Keekoo is a specialty online boutique that offers unique maternity and newborn products up to 80% off from a wide variety of companies. On any given day, a handful of companies are featured offering a selection of limited quantity items at drastically reduced rates, but only for a few days and then the opportunities disappear. You’ve got to act quickly, and if you do you’ll likely be the only person you know with that product. What I love so much about this site is that I cannot find things of this quality, value, or uniqueness anywhere else.

If you aren’t the type to buy early for yourself, consider Keekoo for great gifts. You will be able to find something thoughtful without having to step foot in a baby store, saving yourself from those discouraging feelings. And you won’t have to worry about the recipient having to return your gift because she got three others just like it. Piece of cake! Keekoo gifts make all those showers and pregnancy announcements a little less painful. One note regarding gifts, buy early. Sometimes shipping can take a few weeks, but Keekoo has addressed this and it has improved greatly.

Here are some of the items I’ve purchased since their launch earlier this year:

Ocean Lily Maternity Jeans, Paid $26.99 (I want to wear these now!)


Udder Covers Porter Breastfeeding Cover & Gift Set, Paid $19.99 (Beautiful, useful set) 


Hot Milk Shimmer Angel Wing Camisole, Paid $32.99 (Worth every penny. Gorgeous!)


Pretty Pushers “I dream of sushi” Birthing Gown, Paid $14.99 (Pretty darn sexy and super soft)


LilleBaby Eurotote, Paid $29.99 (This carrier is awesome and multipurpose) 

I was pleasantly surprised with the quality given the low prices I paid. This stuff is nice! Keekoo does a great job choosing top-notch companies and products to feature on their site. I always look forward to what will become available next. Shhh. DH doesn’t need to know I keep such close tabs on them 😉

The keys to Keekoo success are:
1. Register on their website. It’s free and takes only a second. Register Here

2. Check emails and Facebook regularly for new featured companies, coupon codes, and freebies

3. Buy quickly (items sell out in a hurry and only remain in your cart for 15 minutes)

4. Refer friends ($10 bonus for each one!)

 Check Out Keekoo now! and let us know what you find 🙂 Happy Shopping!

 

And just for fun, here’s a picture of my guest room closet:

All of those bins are full of baby and maternity stuff. That’s just half of the closet…I think it’s fair to say I’m pretty well stocked. And obsessed. ~Sigh~ There’s nothing wrong with a little retail therapy to prepare us for our futures as mothers. XO!

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Conceptionese: TTC Acronyms Decoded

I have never in my life seen so many acronyms! Here’s a collection of common terms and abbreviations used by people who are trying to conceive, often in blogs, forums, and message boards.

2WW or TWW: Two-week wait (between ovulation and expected period, luteal phase)
ACU: acupuncture
AF: Aunt Flow, menstruation
AFM: as for me
AI: artificial insemination (aka IUI)
AO: Annovulatory
Beta: hcg blood test
BBT: Basal body temperature
BC/BCP: birth control/pills
BD: Baby dance, sex
BFN: Big fat negative (test result)
BFP: Big fat positive (test result)
CB: Cycle buddy (someone who shares the same menstrual cycle/ovulation dates)
CD: Cycle day (CD1 is 1st day of your period)
CF: Cervical fluid
CL: Corpus luteum
CM: Cervical mucus
CP: Cervical position
DE: donor eggs
DH: dear husband (DD, DS, DP dear/darling daughter, son, partner)
DI: Donor insemination
DPO: Days past ovulation
DTD: Doing the deed, sex
DX: diagnosis
EW: Eggwhite (re: consistency of cervical mucus)
EDD: estimated due date
FRER: First Response Early Result pregnancy test
FTTA: Fertile thoughts to all
FIL: father in law
FMU: First morning urine
F/U: follow up
FX: fingers crossed
H&H: happy and healthy (9 months)
hCG: Human chorionic gonadotropin (pregnancy hormone)
HPT: Home pregnancy test
HRT: hormone replacement therapy
HSG: hysterosalpingogram
HX: history
IC: Internet cheapie ( OPK or HPT)
ICSI: intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ick-see)
IF: Infertility
IMO: in my opinion
IRL: in real life (as opposed to online friends/forums)
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination
IVF: In Vitro Fertilization
LH: Luteinizing hormone
LMP: Last menstrual period
LP: Luteal phase
MC or m/c: miscarriage
MIL: mother in law
MF: male factor (infertility)
O: Ovulation
OPK: Ovulation predictor kit/tests
POAS: pee on a stick
PCOS (POS): Polycystic ovarian syndrome
PG: Pregnancy, pregnant
PGD/PGS: preimplantation genetic diagnosis/screening
PI: primary infertility (no children yet)
RE: reproductive endocrinologist (fertility doc)
RX: prescription
S/A: Sperm/semen analysis
SI: secondary infertility ( trouble conceiving second child)
SIL: sister in law
SMU: second morning urine
SO: significant other
TCOYF: Taking Charge of Your Fertility (book/website)
TIA: thanks in advance
TMI: too much information
TTC: Trying to conceive
TX: treatment
US or u/s: ultrasound
UTI: urinary tract infection
WTF: what the f***?!

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Sh*t’s about to get real: pre-IVF wiggage

This is what I thought IVF looked like:

Ok – not really.  But I never really thought about the fact that DH and I would actually have to be an integral, physical part of the process leading up to this:

With mommy and daddy no where in sight, that is IVF from the doctor’s perspective.  You can imagine my shock when I realized that this is what IVF actually looks like from mommy’s perspective (and this is just for one month):

Today, I go in for my baseline ultrasound and mock-transfer (to make sure my plumbing will cooperate when they do the real deal in a couple of weeks).  Then, on Sunday night, while away on a business trip in another state (and without my husband), I get to start giving myself belly injections every night.  I thought I could handle this.  I thought this would be no big deal.

Now, I’m starting to wig a little.

Not about the pain (though that is definitely on my mind).  But about the reality of what we’re about to do.

We already have a healthy 4-year old.  Are we rocking his world with this?

We didn’t have to do IVF with him.  Should we reconsider this?

What if they mix up the embryos post-genetic screening and we don’t transfer a healthy one?

What if a year of trying with no luck (and 3 losses) is  a sign that we shouldn’t have another child?

Our doctor has told us why he thinks we’re having issues with a sticky bean, and if he’s right, IVF should rule any of those issues out.  So, in his mind, it’s a healthier, more promising result than if we tried to do this on our own for another indefinite period of time.

Why do we have so much trouble trusting?  Trusting our instincts, our doctors, the experts, God.

I’m a control freak by nature.   It’s hard for me to put my trust in others and turn this over to those who know better.   I’m trying to have faith in the doctors, in God, in the process.  But I’m wigging a little.

Did any of you ask yourself the same questions and struggle with your decision at all?  What helped you trust, and let go?

I haven’t even told my family we’re about to embark on this journey.  Over the past 12 months of TTC, I have spared the details because I didn’t feel like fielding the “how’s it going this month” questions, or the relentless advice.  And I didn’t have it in me to comfort them about the loss that I was experiencing.  Now, it feels wrong not to let them know what we’re about to go through – but it also feels abrupt to just spring it on them.  I’m not sure what to do…  I’m tempted to try Round 1 and see what happens, and open up to them after we know the results (around Thanksgiving).  What would you do?

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Financial assistance resources for IVF

Sunnyside and I were both faced with the reality of IVF within days of each other.  Sunnyside is currently on the researching and consultation side (with some glimmer of hope that they may be able to still knock this out the old-fashioned way), while I am about to embark on Round 1 of our IVF treatment.

One place where our journeys converge is on the financial research path.  I have amazing insurance that does offer some IVF coverage, but there were a couple of weeks where we thought we were going to have to pay anywhere from $5,000 – $15,000 out of pocket for genetic testing that wasn’t covered under our policy.  And, this doesn’t include the $400/month for meds I will have to pay after insurance covers their portion.  Meanwhile,  Sunnyside doesn’t have IVF coverage in her healthcare plan, and is facing even larger medical bills.  And even larger Rx bills.

As a result, we’ve both been doing some research on financing options and came across a link that may be useful to some of you.

The folks over at FertileHope.org have compiled a list of organizations that may offer various levels of financial assistance, depending on your situation.

There are programs for:

  • Achieving Pregnancy (IVF grants, shared cost programs for 2nd rounds, low insurance coverage, etc)
  • Fertility Medications (patient assistance programs, coupon sites, rebates, etc)
  • Fertility Preservation (for folks who can’t afford to freeze their embryos)
  • Overall financing options
  • Shared risk programs (where you share the cost with your doctor!)
  • And more.

Good luck!  We hope you find a way to achieve your dream!

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Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of IVF

Well, it’s official.  We have started our IVF journey.

The TTC journey is supposed to feel like you’re walking on the yellow brick road.  Beautiful, colorful, hopeful.

Right now, I feel more like I’m in the forest being pelted by fruit from angry trees.

We went for our first IVF consult this week.  In that appointment, we learned all of the aspects of IVF that you don’t realize.  You start off thinking, “Oh, they’ll just take some eggs, take some sperm, mix it up in a lab and baste it up in there.  Viola.  Done.”

Mmmmm. No.

FOURTEEN prescriptions, three sizes of syringes, and questionable insurance coverage later – we’re shell-shocked

When you start IVF you have to completely change your frame of mind.  It’s no longer just an emotional journey.  Now it’s a business journey.  For me, it became a second job. I’ve spent at least two hours a day for the past five days on the phone with HR directors at my company and reps with my insurance company trying to get my coverage straight.  Yes, I realize I’m very lucky in that I have IVF coverage and many people don’t.  However, when you aren’t bargaining on any substantial financial investment, any uncovered procedures can throw you for a loop.  In our case, our doctor was adamant about us performing pre-implantation embryo genetic screening, which was allegedly not covered by my insurance.  The cost of this, if uncovered, would limit us to ONE round of IVF, as opposed to the three we thought we were going to have.

Fortunately, I have gotten them to change their mind and my procedures will be covered.  But not before screaming at four different people on many consecutive days via phone and email, writing letters, researching online, and becoming completely consumed with this process.  I had to detach myself emotionally and put on my business hat.  This was hard.  Because what is this journey, if not emotional?

So now, it seems that we’re out of the fruit-pelting angry tree forest and past the sleep-inducing poppies.  We’re off to see the wizard.   But, I can’t just kick back and let the doctor work his magic.  Oh no.

I have to go pick up 14 prescriptions at the pharmacy on Friday.  I have to start giving myself shots.  In my belly.  Every day.  For ten days.  I “should expect” to become irritable and bloated, with knots in my muscles from the shots.  Oh, and I get to do this for the first time alone, from the comfort of a hotel room, as I will be on a business trip during this critical period of time.  DH can’t be there to help or comfort.

Next time I hear someone tell me they got pregnant on accident, I may stab them with an empty syringe.

I don’t know where the road ahead will take us.  I hope it’s to a good place, full of miracles and wonder.  We have the best doctor, and the best insurance.   Our doctor has high hopes that this will work for us.  I want to trust him.

But I may click my heels a few times, just in case.

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Scientific Sexy Time

Let’s go ahead and cancel the “G” rating on this blog right now. It’s time to get a little intimate ladies and gents. We all love to make the bed creak from time to time, some of us in the morning (Ahem! Guys!) and some of us at night. And when the Big O arrives, it’s time to get our O faces on and get to it, no matter the time of day! Light the candles, turn off CNN, and put the fan on high because it’s about to get steamy and sticky ’round here.
That telling line (or smiley face) on your OPK has arrived and it feels like a Slip ‘n Slide downstairs. “Oh, honey. Where are you? This little egg is ready and needs one of your friends!” And the pressure sets in…
Thats okay. We can set the mood. Barry White, anyone? Or perhaps you prefer: “You and me, baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.”
Music? What? Not in this bedroom and definitely not at 6 a.m. The only sound is an annoying alarm clock and the dog’s attempt to remove the thong I carelessly tossed onto his head as DH rolled over to “greet” me. “Wait! I’ll be right back,” I whisper as I run to the bathroom, hopping over four-legged fur babies,“keep him awake!” 
A quick trip to the bathroom is in order to fill my syringe. Not heroin. Not fertility drugs. Just some good ‘ole PreSeed to help send his boys to the promised land. Does anyone fill that thing the whole way?! They sure do offer generous dosing options. One to two grams should do the trick.  And some Listerine. Now, that’s love, even if we won’t be facing each other. Come on, we all know which position will get the job done in record time. 
I bound back to bed and hope we can accomplish the task at hand before the alarm blares again in seven minutes. Easier said than done. I’m not a morning person and “I’m ovulating” is not a great excuse for showing up late to work…apparently.
“But babe, we have to finish like this so it stays in there!”
“I know. Chill out. I got this. It’s a lot easier to make you a mom if you shut up.”
We both laugh. He’s right.
The phone chimes and I encourage the grande finale, the 14th grande finale in the last 19 days. (Ahh, the beauty of unpredictable ovulation.) Exhaustion.
“The pillow. Gimme the pillow!” I shove it under my hips, cross my legs like I’ve got someone in a choke hold, and press my heels toward the ceiling. These little boys are on lock down in my lady dungeon, for at least twenty minutes. Heaven forbid I sneeze.
He strides off to shower. I stay still as a field mouse, secretly wishing I had a microscope and an ultrasound wand so I could obsessively track the journey. I’m such a nerd.
Sex during TTC is like horse racing. You release the boys from the gate, coaxing them hurriedly to the final destination! Go sperm men, go! Catch that f-n rabbit! All bets are on…now where is my damn cloak of roses?!  Oh…the winner (if there is one) isn’t announced for two weeks?? Bullshit. Gimme my flowers.
I finally emerge from a rigor-mortis-inspired position and wiggle to the shower, thighs on the verge of a spark as I dare not separate them. So sexy.
The day goes on as usual only to discover the next morning that my temperature has not yet spiked.
“Babe…one more time?”
“Are you f-n kidding me?” We both sigh.
“Just grab me an ice pack. My peekachoo feels bruised.”
“Oh, toughen up. You’re fine. Get over here, woman and sex me!” 
The laughter ensues and we rally, day after day, month after month. We will get this baby, damnit.
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The “Best” Advice – to get pregnant you just have to….

We have heard some doozies! Here’s a little compilation of some of the sage advice Scrambled and I have received:

To get pregnant, all you have to do is:

  • Relax
  • Just have sex all the time (thanks, Einstein)
  • Do it every other day
  • Only do it when you’re fertile to save the good sperm
  • Take Prenatal vitamins
  • Raise your hips after sex
  • Get drunk and F—
  • Stop thinking about it
  • Ask your Grandmother how she did it
  • Stop taking birth control
  • Stay on birth control. (Birth control babies are cool, too. “Hi!”)
  • Do it in the morning
  • Don’t consume soft serve ice cream, lunch meat, Splenda, or sushi
  • Don’t drink caffeine
  • Wish upon a f -n star
  • Take your temperature everyday like a lab rat
  • Drink the same water pregnant women drink
  • Read [insert title of latest How To Get Pregnant Book here]
  • Talk to [insert name of the one girl everyone knows who got pregnant late in life].  She clearly has ALL the answers.
  • Just “stop trying” – it’ll happen when you least expect it!
  • Sell all of your baby gear from Baby 1.  Murphy’s Law – you’ll get pregnant.
  • Just pray!  It’ll happen in God’s time!
  • Just change your diet!
  • Exercise!

What “brilliant” advice have you been given? I know there are some good ones out there!

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Product Review: Pre-seed. Holy Tsunami, Batman.

We’ve all heard it:  “Trying to get pregnant is the fun part!”

This almost always comes out of the mouths of friends who got pregnant within the first month or so of trying.  Whenever you’ve been TTC for 6 months, a year, or longer, it’s a different story.  It goes more like this:

G’night.

           G’night.  Oh crap.  Is tonight an “on” night?

Sigh.  Is it?  It is.

            Yeah.

Sigh.  Ok.

When the mood in the bedroom becomes more like that of a dentist office, it’s virtually impossible to get the juices flowing.  Even with “optimal fertile cervical mucus” on the inside, the outside doesn’t always get the memo.

And, through research and good old trial and error, you learn all the things that damage those little male carriers.  KY Jelly.  Lotion.  Astroglide.  Saliva.  Soap (don’t judge me for liking some shower fun!).  And then, like a beacon of light from the gates to Heaven, you see that cute little white box sitting alone amidst the more popular varieties.  The one that offers “Seriously fun baby-making!”   Pre-seed.

Sure, let’s give it a try.

Holy tsunami, Batman.

Quick word of advice – a little dab’ll do ya.  This stuff multiplies like a Gremlin in water.  Once it’s on, it’s free flowing, kids.

Now, onto the review:

First, this is the woman’s answer to foreplay.  Especially on those rare occasions when a roadmap could be useful.  Instead of having to hone in on the exact target, this wonder gel makes contact in the general vicinity light you up like a Christmas tree.  Score 1 for Preseed.

Second, this is a neon “Welcome” sign for your vajayjay.  DH got in, got out, and went home (or, to sleep, as it were).  No long, drawn out sessions on a weeknight makes this appealing, especially for those of us who prop our hips on a pillow for half an hour post-coitus.  Score 2 for Preseed.

Third, it’s odorless and not sticky!  Score 3 for Preseed.

Finally, this added boost allegedly makes a little Gulf Stream for the boys to make it quickly and safely to the cervix.  As I am still waiting for an egg to appear on my chart before I can even enter the TWW, the verdict is still out here.  But I have no reason to think it didn’t help.

I don’t consider these to be negatives, because I love this product already.  But, a few considerations:

  1. The syringes are interesting.  They go up to 5 grams, but given that I only used 1.5grams and slept in a puddle of love juice all night, I don’t know what kind of cavernous vajayjay would need all 5g in one shot.  In fact, you can probably forego the internal application, unless you just want that added gulf stream up in there to transport the boys faster.  I may opt for only half a gram next time.
  2. It’s a little pricey.  For $21.99 a tube, this stuff should be made of gold.  Then again, if it helps get the job done and produce a little bambino, then it is gold to me.
  3. It truly does create a vaginal tsunami.  And, as one who despises laying in the snail trail of love after our work is done, this wasn’t a fun way to wake up at 3am upon rolling over and feeling myself expel the fluid that had been on lock down for the previous three hours.    However, if that’s the only drawback, well, I’ll happily put on a panty liner and hit snooze.

Once we ever hit the Baby Jackpot, I definitely see Preseed securing a long-term place in our night table drawer.  And I may mark out their tagline and pencil in my own – Seriously Fun Booty Shakin’.

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