Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Liebster Nominations, Baby!!!

liebster blog award

So, punctuality is clearly not one of our strong suits.   I mean, who has time to think of anything else when you’re temping, charting, checking fluid, and peeing on OPKs!

Well, WE have time.  Especially since we’ve both decided to kick off 2013 with a new outlook on PTC (formerly known as TTC).   So, without further ado, we want to extend a big fat THANK YOU to the many bloggers who nominated us for a Liebster Award:

IVFMale, CMDCupcake, Erin, and MyBrokenOven! There are links to each of their blogs below. Please check them out!

We are touched beyond words that you read our crazy antics and don’t log off when you see just how unstable we are.  AND – that you wanted to know even more about us!  Whaaaaat?   You guys are too much!   And, thank you for giving us something else to think about for a little while (and for reminding us that there is more to each of us than our empty wombs and bad eggs).  So, much love to you all!  And, below you will find the answers to all of your questions!

And, we certainly plan to pay it forward.  After our answers you will find our list of  Liebster nominations, and the questions we’re dying to have answered!

Love and double lines,

The Eggs

About the Liebster Award: This award is intended for bloggers with less than 200 followers. In order to accept your nomination, you must answer 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you, and then create 11 questions of your own for your 11 nominees to answer. It’s all about paying it forward and encouraging your favorite bloggers to continue writing.

Questions from: Cmdcupcake

When did you start your blog & why?

We started our blog in September 2012 because we were in search of similar minds and experiences. We met on a message board on a TTC forum and developed an instant connection. On that message board, we both were beginning to feel somewhat disconnected and discomforted through our struggles on the boards.  So, we thought blogging would not only serve a cathartic purpose for us personally, but would introduce us to a supportive community.   A community where we could not only get the support we were seeking, but we could offer some support to others like us.  And, we were right!

When was your “a-ha” moment on your fertility journey where you decided to get serious?

SS: About six months after my miscarriage and repeated failed attempts at natural conception. I began temping, charting, and acupuncture at that time.  I also swallowed my pride and read my first “fertility/infertility” book.

Scrambled:  About 4 months into the process.  I already have one child (age 4).  We had a little trouble conceiving him due to my irregular cycles.  But, once I read TCOYF and charted my temps and fluid ONE MONTH, I got pregnant – because I pinpointed my late ovulation.  This time around, I totally thought, “I got this.”  So, we waited until we were ready to have another one; when our son was at that “perfect age” for a sibling.  Little did we know it would take us going on two years this time around.  About 4 months after we began TTC #2, I had already experienced a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage (which left me in the hospital on Good Friday confirming a miscarriage).  At that moment, I realized this is harder this time around.  I’m older.  My body is jacked.  We’re going to have to get help.

If you could start from the beginning, would you change anything during your TTC journey? If so, what?

SS: Yes! I would have started charting much earlier and would have reached out to a fertility specialist sooner.

Scrambled:  Not really this time around.  I was already charting, temping, checking fluids, taking supplements.  Regardless of your drive, most doctors won’t allow you to pursue infertility treatment until you’ve been TTC for X months.  In my case this time, it was 6 months.  That’s when we started the IVF classes, etc.

Favorite coffee drink?

SS: the kind with caffeine. Haha! I’m a hazelnut and Splenda addict.

Scrambled: Ditto SS!!   My go-to is “grande skinny Caramel Macchiato with two splendas”

Pets? Tell me about them.

SS: oh, yes. Dogs: Kaili, Kona, and Blue. All large breeds mix rescues and the loves of my life. Also, two cats, Colbie and Karma. We had a third cat, Grandma, but she decided she liked our neighbor more and ditched us. Beeotch kitty.

Scrambled:  One dog.  A beagled named Scout.  She has been with me since she was 6 weeks old – and she’s almost 15 now.  I know her time with us is becoming limited, and it breaks my heart to think of her gone because my son is at the perfect age to love and annoy her all at once.  He has requested a little couch for her so she can sleep in his room J

What’s one thing that not a lot of people, if any, in the real world know about you? (Don’t worry, cyberspace is safe)

SS: I have anxiety (diagnosed, not just perceived.)

Scrambled:  I have shark teeth.  Like, in my mouth, not on a necklace.  My front 5 teeth have a tiny second row of teeth behind them.  You can’t see them, and they serve no purpose.  But I can feel them with my tongue.  If asked, I will let you touch them.  I can tear up a steak.  😀

What is one piece of wisdom you can give to someone who is in your current situation? Whether that is as a mom, a wife, a TTCer, etc?

SS: Don’t lose hope and try to talk about it with someone other than your partner who truly understands.

Scrambled:   Don’t let it define you.  Find ways to cope outside of trying to “fix” your situation.

Celebrity Crush??

SS: Three-way tie: Will Smith, Tiger Woods, and Chelsea Handler.

Scrambled:  Oh man.  Matt.  Damon.   Sigh.   Yes.  Matt Damon.  And, rounding out the Top 3:  James Badge Dale and Zac Efron (I’m a cradle robber)

One thing you love & hate about winter?

SS: Hate: the cold. Love: Christmas music. It’s all I play for a month straight.  My poor husband…

Scrambled:   Love Christmas.  And being able to hide the fat better 🙂    I hate that it gets dark so early.

Favorite holiday/s & why?

SS: Halloween. It’s a chance to escape from reality and be goofy.

Scrambled:  Halloween and Christmas.  I love dressing up and being silly, and I love throwing parties.  Both holidays enable lots of festive activities.

Will you follow and support these other fine bloggers listed?

SS: Abso-fricken-lutely!

Scrambled:  Of course!

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Questions from: Ivfmale  (duplicate questions omitted if previously answered)

Describe one feature you wish WordPress had that it doesn’t.

SS: an “I want your autograph” button. There are some amazing bloggers out there who are destined to make it big, and I’d love to get my hands on those soon-to-be famous John Hancocks.

Scrambled:  I like SS’s answer J   I wish it was a little more intuitive and user-friendly.  It seems very manual at the moment.

What quality about yourself are you most proud of?

SS: my optimism

Scrambled:  my sense of humor

Describe your fondest childhood memory.

SS: My dad took my sister and I to the caves in Hanalei on the island of Kauai. In case you didn’t know, that’s where Puff the Magic Dragon lives. Ten year-olds love that $hit. “…and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hanalei.”

Scrambled:  I have so many.  I had a pretty awesome childhood.  Great parents (still together, 43 years later), a good sister, a good life.  We grew up going to a summer/weekend lake house – so waterskiing, swimming and taking friends there was just an every weekend activity for us.

Tell me about your first car.

SS: Beater. Bought it in a mall parking lot for $1000. 1989 Nissan Sentra. My sister got it as a hand-me-down. Poor girl.

Scrambled:  I turned 16 in 1991.  My first car was a 1987 Blue Chevy Cavalier.  Two door.  I bought it with money I’d saved from babysitting for 4 years.  I didn’t pick it out.  My parents literally took my money out of my bank account a month before my 16th birthday, went to the car lot WITHOUT ME, and bought my car – with MY money.  And then I continued to make payments on that car until I went to college.  They graciously paid the insurance J

Who inspires you and why?

SS: My mother. She is resilient, hard-working, youthful, funny, loving, and a peace maker. She brags about me sometimes, too, so that’s nice. I guess all moms do though. Haha!

Scrambled:  My mom.  She is tough as nails and fragile as glass all in one.  She had only a high-school education and aspired to be so much more.  Her commitment to adult education, career and family and her ability to balance it all showed me that I could be an awesome mom, but not just a mom.

Tell me the most recent joke you’ve heard that was really funny.

SS: I guess it’s more of a funny line, but whatever. “Halloween is all about being something you’re not, so that’s why most girls go as ‘sexy’.” Cracked me up!

Scrambled:  It’s really really dirty… I’ll think about telling you later J  But it had to do with oral sex and a grandma.  You’re welcome.

What do you want others to remember you by?

SS: Making their day/life/situation a little better.

Scrambled:  Making them smile/laugh amidst their struggles.

Which question above do you wish I hadn’t asked?

SS: Childhood memory. My parents divorced when I was young, so it’s hard to define just one part of the two different lives I experienced.

Scrambled:  Don’t have one… they were all good. J

What question didn’t I ask you wish I had?

SS and Scrambled: Most embarrassing moment. Too bad for you 😉 haha!

Do you think I made up the last two questions because I ran out of questions?

SS and Scrambled:  Well, of course not. (code for YES)

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Questions from: Mybrokenoven

What is the one thing (not person) you can’t live without?

SS: Tank tops. I wear one everyday no matter what.

Scrambled:  my phone.  And mascara.

What is the last thing you do before you go to bed at night?

SS: Watch trashy shows in bed after my husband falls asleep. The Housewives, Kardashians, 90210, etc. Gotta get my girly fix. I’m also a closet midnight eater. My nightstand often looks like a crime scene at a 7-11.

Scrambled:  Watch TV in bed with my hubby, or if he falls asleep, I switch it to Friends and play Words with Friends on my iPad.

What is your best trait?

SS: Positive outlook/optimism

Scrambled:  Ability to counsel folks, and my sense of humor.

When was the last time you laughed, and what made you do it?

SS: Good laugh? Two nights ago I spent hours watching this hilarious couple on YouTube prank each other. Prank V. Prank is their channel. I’m now convinced this is my calling, but I giggle far too much to pull off a prank.

Scrambled:  Last night, when I was explaining my depression and frustration about infertility to a friend and how “hopeless” I feel.  She said, “You need to find a counselor to talk to.”  And I replied, “I tried.  She won’t call me back.”  – and the irony of that cracked us both up that we laughed til tears were rolling.

What was your worst year of school and why?

SS: Hmmm. Tough one. I’m going to be less specific and say middle school. It was such an awkward time. So many changes emotionally, physically, and socially. I can imagine it’s only worse nowadays.

Scrambled:  Eesh.  That is tough.  Jr. High was rough for me.  Bad teeth, bad glasses, bad hair.  Ugh.  Stop talking about it

What was the last dream you had that you remember?

SS: I can’t remember but it probably involved my teeth falling out and/or being naked from the waist down. Pretty standard for me (in dreams!) I did have a dream a few nights ago about my little sister giving birth to a baby girl, but just the head. I was awesome taking care of her and had no problem screwing her head onto a plastic body so she looked normal. WTF? And she could talk from day one. Pretty impressive for a body-less baby.

Scrambled:  It involved Brad and Angelina – because of our Inappropriate Elf.  In my dream, I may or may not have been the nanny.  Don’t judge me.

What were you for Halloween (the last time you dressed up)?

SS: A pirate. Yes, cliche. I know. And yes, a slutty one. ~shame~

Scrambled:  Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood.

If you could live anywhere where would it be?

SS: 6 months or less: Las Vegas. Forever: Somewhere Figi-ish as long as my husband and future children could be happy and successful there too.

Scrambled:  6 months or less:  Hawaii.  Forever?  NC.  I love it here.

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

SS: Oh yeah, plenty. I grew up in Southern California. Earthquake drills were as common as fire drills.

Scrambled:  Yes – once.  And I live in NC, so we were all “WTF was that?!”

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Questions from: Erin

What is your absolute favorite meal? What makes it so great?

SS: Frozen burritos or quesadillas and Texas Pete. Like half a bottle of Texas Pete!

Scrambled:   Depends on the day.  If I’m sick/under the weather?  Homemade chicken pastry (chicken and dumplings for all you yankees out there).  Otherwise, just call me Bubba Gump.  Shrimp.  Shrimp.  Shrimp.   I love pasta in cream sauce or olive oil with grilled shrimp.  I love fried shrimp and tartar sauce.  I love shrimp po’boys.  Shrimp kebabs.  Shrimp and grits.  Ohhhhh.  Shrimp and grits.  Be right back.

Do you have any funny nicknames for your significant other? Past significant others?

SS: Not that I can think of. Just the boring, “babe.” Now, I want to come up with one though!

Scrambled:  No.  I call him “Hun” or “babe” a lot.  He doesn’t call me anything – which bugs the hell out of me (in case he’s reading this – ahem).  I love pet names.  They just show that you mean something to somebody.  Anyone can call me “Shannon” (hey – there you go – I just came out of anonymity!  But when you really know someone you have a nickname for them.  All my friends call me “Sha” (pronounced Shay) – and have since college.  I had an old boyfriend who used to call me Pookie.  I used to love it – now it sounds really dumb.  😀

What are your pet peeves? (We all have them…)

SS: Chewing with your mouth open, one-upping, and too many self-portraits on Facebook.

Scrambled:  People who use “I” when “Me” is correct (simply because they want to sound smart).  Correct:  He and I went to high school in North Carolina.   Incorrect:  Please send the email to him and I.   If you remove the “Him” that sentence sounds stupid:  Please send the email to I.  That’s how you know “me” is appropriate.  You’re welcome.

Do you have any funny stories? Name one that sticks out. (Whether about yourself or someone you know)

SS: Years ago DH and I were getting ready for bed and my phone chimed. He grabbed it playfully and said, “Who the hell is ev-int-rem-in-dur?!” I had no idea who that was so I grabbed my phone only to see “Event Reminder: (Someone’s) Birthday” on my screen. It was pretty funny and we still laugh about it to this day. Quick witted guy!

Scrambled:  I have too many to name.  Like the time I flew out of the side of a golf cart and slid down an entire green on my stomach (and face).   Or more recently – when I POAS so many times that a used HPT internet cheapie strip ended up in Sunnyside’s Christmas gift bag and she found it in the bottom of the bag when she got home.

How did you and your partner meet?

SS: We were both really into poker and gambling and had a mutual friend who invited both of us out for a casino cruise. It was the first time we met, I asked for his number, and the rest is history. That was almost seven years ago…geez!

Scrambled:  Online.  By accident.  I was helping a friend set up a Match.com account and saw his profile and snagged him for myself.   My hubby had just moved to the area, was painfully shy and not a club go-er.  He had a profile online but until then hadn’t dated anyone he’d talked to.  🙂

What is your biggest fear?

SS: Failure. I sometimes find myself not trying as hard as I should so I can fall back on “Well, I could’ve done more. It wasn’t a true failure.” Awful trait.

Scrambled:  Getting old.  I’m obsessed with aging.  I look at old movies with actors who were so young, like we are now.  And think, “Wow.. I wonder if they ever thought they’d look like THIS now?” and I wonder what my husband and I will look like when we’re 65.   On a less intense level – I hate eating alone in public.  It makes me anxious.  If I know I have to do it, I’ll bring a book, computer, iPad, phone or something so it looks like I’m insanely busy and important – and not eating alone.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

SS: I’m pretty proud of my degree and the things I accomplished in college (Sports, academics, leadership, etc.) Most recently, I’m proud of taking a risk and giving up my good-paying job to start my own company.

Scrambled:  My 4-year-old son.  He’s the best part of me.  He’s funny, smart, courteous, sweet, curious.  He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.  Professionally, I’m proud of my career.  I work at the best company in the world (literally – just named) and am in charge of corporate communications to tell its story.  I’m proud of everything I do here.

What is one thing that always makes you happy when you are in a miserable mood?

SS: Upbeat music, a kiss or cuddle from the pups, a surprise phone call from a friend, or watching/listening to something comedic.

Scrambled:  90s country music.  boy bands.  a sweet note from a friend.  something funny out of my kiddo’s mouth.

In high school, what clique were you in? Do you feel if you were back there now you would be in that same clique?

SS: I pretty much only hung out with the cross country and track team members, a few close girlfriends, and my long-term boyfriend. I was not in the “cool crowd,” but I wasn’t completely ostracized either. I came out of my shell in college, so I think if I were to go back now, things would be different. I’m not scared and shy anymore. That being said, I’ll pass on going back 🙂

Scrambled:  I was in every clique.  I was in all the advanced placement classes, so I was friends with the nerds.   I played softball and went to all the football games, so I was friends with the athletes, cheerleaders, etc.  I was in a lot of social clubs, so I was friends with the popular kids.  I was on student council committees, homecoming committees, etc., so my friends spanned all groups.  And I am pretty proud of that – that I never flocked to one or alienated another.

What is your New Years Resolution?

SS: Stop letting TTC rule my life, start running again, and consider others and their feelings more often.

Scrambled:  What she said 😉    Plus, lose some weight.  Focus on my marriage and not just TTC.

liebster blog award 200 followers

Our Nominations: 

Expecting to be Expecting (expectingtobeexpecting.wordpress.com)
Fill My Nest (fillmynest.wordpress.com)
Will Work 4 Baby (willwork4baby.wordpress.com)
I Want Does Not Get (iwantdoesnotget.wordpress.com)
Yet Another Bitter Infertile (yetanotherbitterinfertile.wordpress.com)
All the Sun for You (allthesunforyou.wordpress.com)
Barren and Unemployed (barrenandunemployed.wordpress.com)
Today I Bought Waterproof Mascara (todayiboughtwaterproofmascara.wordpress.com)
Late for a Very Important Pregnancy (lateforaveryimportantpregnancy.wordpress.com) Conception’s Bitch (conceptionsbitch.wordpress.com)          

Please check out these wonderful, entertaining blogs! 🙂                                                      

Our Questions: 

1. What was your worst job and why?
2. What do you notice first when meeting someone?
3. What is your favorite condiment? What do you put it on?
4. What’s your favorite sexual position?
5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
6. What was your worst idea ever? Did you act on it?
7. What do you most often forget to do that you should do?
8. What is your favorite movie quote?
9. Where was the worst placed you visited? What made it so bad?
10. Do you poop while talking on the phone?
11. What is your personal mantra?
Bonus Question: Do you own pajama jeans? If so, where do you where them?

4 Comments »

Infertile/Struggling to Conceive & Engaged?!

If you are struggling to conceive and you’re engaged to be married, please let us know! We may have quite the treat for you 🙂

You can send us an email at TOOGOODEGGS@gmail.com or private message us on twitter. We will have more details if we can find enough couples to participate. Just let us know how long you’ve been trying to conceive and your wedding date, if you’ve set one. We’ll take it from there! 🙂

We always have a few tricks up our sleeves. And for those of you who are already married, do you know of any couples you might want to nominate?

The two of us have some great things in store for ALL of you in the coming months!

everyone married pregnant someecard

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Destination: Sanity

We are back on the baby-making train and I’m starting to look at and feel differently towards the whole situation. Last year was ruled by our desire to get pregnant, and if this takes another year or two, I don’t want to look back a see a giant PAUSE in my life. For heaven’s sake, women are fantastic multi-taskers, but why does this endeavor become so encompassing that we seem to achieve so very little otherwise?

We all know that in terms of actual time, trying to conceive is not very burdensome. Most of the things involved take only a matter of minutes to complete. Whether its testing, temping, dosing, or charting, we’re only looking at a few minutes a day. No big deal, right? Sex may or may not fall into this category, but we can probably all agree that three minutes can sometimes feel like forever–for both parties involved. I’m just sayin’.

If the actual process is not very time consuming then why are we so inundated and exhausted? We have created, and fed, this life/faith/time/energy-sucking monster! It is not a necessary inclusion. We think about it ALL the time! We are planning, researching, comparing, judging, googling, testing, questioning, recovering, preparing, and reading way too much, in my opinion. This is where the whole damn thing gets ugly. A good friend of mine often says, “over-analysis is paralysis,” and I believe I have paralyzed myself over the last year. Rarely a thought pops into my head that does not involve or lead to thoughts of a pregnancy or baby. Does all this extra time lead to better results in the end? Maybe. Perhaps, we are more educated, more in tune with our bodies and partners, and more understanding of others who similarly struggle. However, I believe the negative impacts outweigh the positive here. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of beating myself up, questioning my every move, acting/thinking selfishly, and doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. Isn’t that the definition if insanity? Aha! That’s what I’ve become. Insane. And I hate it.

Scrambled is definitely on to something here. I received my copy of Love and Infertility and I can’t wait to jump in head first. Having not read the book yet, I have a list of changes I’d like to make as I venture toward reclaiming my sanity.

1. No temping. My charts freak me out and blur reality.
2. Plan a pregnancy around my life, not the other way around. No more “I can’t travel that week because I’ll be ovulating.” I need to enjoy the present instead of trying to live in an idealistic future. Will missing one month really impact me enough that I need to prevent my life from happening? Nope.
3. No premature testing. I have wasted too much money to continue testing every time I pee from DPO 10-15. Enough is enough.
4. Start running again. I was a competitive runner all through high school and college and I miss it. Truthfully, I don’t miss the actual running, just the competitiveness and the stress-reduction benefits. Maybe this will help put me back in touch with my true self.
5. Think about OTHER people, and not from a “them v. me” point of view. Go out of my way to be there for others. My struggle is not the center of the universe!

I need to get a grip on my sanity. Pronto!

My sister and I used to go to garage sales with our grandparents growing up and have since adopted this pastime as a great way to bond on Saturday mornings. This is exactly how my out-of-control collection of baby items grew from a small box to an entire room. Last week, I thought it would be a nice gesture to reach out to someone in need of such things, someone who is actually pregnant, and donate some of what I’ve amassed. I went through all of the bins and had a hard time choosing what to give away. I held the little onesies in the air, rattled the toys, and rubbed the blankets against my cheek.

I started to feel jealousy creeping up as I searched and sorted. I was so attached to these material things, that I started to question the family in need. “Why give up my things, that I paid for with money I earned, to people who are not working and probably shouldn’t have a baby anyway?” What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?! I have no problem donating clothes, household items, and my time for people in need for other reasons, yet I question someone in need because they have something I don’t have. Reality check! Am I someone who deserves a baby then? Am I acting in a “mothering” way by judging others and being selfish? Is this how I behave in non-baby-related situations? It’s embarrassing, really.

I slapped myself a few times, made a pile to give away, and called the soon-to-be parents in need. It was the right thing for me to do. When the time comes for us, I’ll buy what I need. They need it more than I do right now.

While at a garage sale this weekend, I overheard a woman haggling for lower prices on baby bottles and clothes. I was trying to avoid buying any more myself so I perused the non-baby stuff while they spoke.

“Ten dollars sounds great. I don’t actually have a baby yet. We have been trying for a while. I’m want to stay on a budget until I know if I can get pregnant,” she shared with the homeowner. “Please pray for us and thank you so much!” She was so open, happy, and optimistic.

Yes! I’m not the only one who shops WAY ahead of time. (Although, I’m not as brave. I usually pretend I’m buying for someone else’s baby.)

It’s nice to not feel all alone, especially when it comes to the silly things. 🙂 I feel her pain though, and from that point of view, I wish we weren’t in the same (shitty) boat.

I feel like I have to keep having these “get a grip” conversations with myself every few months. Maybe this time I can make the changes stick. This is not about getting what I want when I want it. It’s not about having or not having. It’s not a race. This a time in my life, shared with my husband, to be happy, giving and grateful. I need to capitalize on all the things that make us happy, better people, not just future parents. It’s time for me to see the bigger picture.

How are you feeling about your progress and methods in this new year? Is there anything you’re trying to change? How do you stay sane?

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Book Review: “Love and Infertility: Survival strategies for balancing infertility, marriage and life”

I recently provided a few infertility support resources that were made available to me through my company’s awesome work/life center and promised you a review of a couple of the books.

This weekend, I cracked open the first one.  I have admittedly become smitten with the e-reader craze.  I had no real allegiance to turning the pages of a book – words are words to me, generally speaking.  I haven’t read a real “book” in at least two years.  But, the first book:  “Love and Infertility:  Survival strategies for balancing infertility, marriage and life” came to me free from my company’s library, so I reluctantly reverted back to doing it old school.   Quickly, I became engrossed in holding my finger in between pages that resonated with me.  I tapped my fingers on the back of the book as I read.  I was… comforted… to be reading a real book.

Then it hit me.  This book was like me.

A little old.  A little used.  A little less than perfect.  Slightly cracked and bent.  Not quite broken.

book2

With my Kindle, I tend to skim pages faster; skip ahead a little.  As a writer and English major, I am often guilty of skipping ahead and skimming because I can surmise the plot direction without having to invest in every word.  I realized as I read this old-ish book that I was taking my time, slowly turning the pages and reading every word.

I’m not as young as I used to be.  My pages are dog-eared and they don’t turn as quickly.  Maybe I need to stop pressing “next page” on this TTC journey and concentrate on each page a little longer.

Hmmmm.

Ok – so onto the review.

This book?  Awesome.  For me, anyway.  It was the perfect balance of humor, relate-ability, common sense and faith.  I didn’t want a “Let Go and Let God” devotional.  I didn’t want a book full of sad stories to let me know how “it could always be worse.”  I needed something more.  Kristen Magnacca gave me exactly what I needed.

You see, I have felt myself pulling away from life.  I felt as though I was forcing myself to be unhappy, disappointed and sad.  I pulled away from intimacy with my husband – unless, of course, it was Day 16-20 of my cycle.  TTC was not about intimacy at all.  It had become methodical and scientific.  And, as such, any time sex was presented during non-optimal baby-making time, it was a turn off.  Because it just came wrapped in a blanket of anxiety and doubt.  I let myself go – all I cared about was getting pregnant.  I became unhappy with my appearance, my attitude.  Then, I became self-conscious that I was unattractive (inside and out) to my husband, which in turn led me to push non-essential sex away.  I found myself in a downward spiral.

I have been yearning for a way to feel happy.  Allow myself to feel happy.  Remind myself why I love my husband (and not just his sperm).  Remind myself why I was loveable.

In a matter of two hours, this book helped me find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Written from the perspective of a woman who struggled for 10 years to have her 2 children, this book quickly showed me that a) I’m not alone; b) it’s ok to get angry; c) I need to focus on ME, as well as my marriage.  AND – I read it in two hours.  Without putting it down.

Each chapter ends in an exercise you can do alone or with your partner.  It’s not deep breathing or meditation.  It’s writing things down and holding yourself accountable.  And, the kicker:  My husband agreed to read it and do these exercises with me.

From the inside flap of the book:

How can you balance life, your marriage and the process of creating your family?When trying to create a family, a couple’s normal life can be immediately and radically changed. Overwhelming feelings of confusion, hopelessness, and loss of control can leave couples working to overcome infertility unable to communicate with each other or proceed calmly with their daily lives. The effort to create a baby overrides all other activities, and after a while, making love can turn into making work!

Love and Infertility provides a lifeline for couples struggling with infertility. Author Kristen Magnacca shares twenty-eight simple yet powerful strategies to help couples open lines of communication, maintain a sense of control over their lives, and help them deal with the changes they’ll face while working to become parents.

Divided into three sections—Creating Your Destiny, Communicating as One, and Rolling with the Changes—Love and Infertility offers insight and direction to help couples navigate the swamp of infertility. Kristen introduces each strategy with a true experience from her own long struggle with infertility and then provides a step-by-step system to implement the recommendation into daily life.

In Love and Infertility, you’ll find:

  • Twenty-eight effective strategies that correspond to the average twenty-eight day fertility cycle
  • Useful tips for couples in all stages of conceiving—from those just starting out to those who have been trying for years
  • Interactive exercises for men, for women, and for both partners together: goals lists, talking points, “red-flag” phrases, and the patented “Elevator Speech” to rescue you from any situation

Though this time of your life may be emotional and strenuous, Kristen’s words of wisdom can help you regain control of your life, your marriage, and your happiness. You don’t have to go through this alone!

Early in the book, she challenges the reader to write down 3-5 dreams they want to accomplish in the next year.  Write it on a colorful index card and keep it with you all the time – in your planner, your wallet, whatever.  Ask your husband to do the same.  Help each other fulfill those dreams.

I think mine are going to be:

  1. Lose 20 lbs.
  2. Be pregnant before I’m 39.
  3. Take a photography class.

It’s ok if one of them says “Get Pregnant.”  Because one of the other chapters talks about the power of positive thinking.  For 17 months, we’ve been “trying” to have a baby.  “Trying” sets you up for “failing” – whereas, “planning” sets you up for achieving.  Subtle difference in writing – but a big difference to your subconscious.

This book gives funny anecdotes about not being able to face another round of questions regarding your baby making plans, or another pregnant belly, but quickly follows up with smart ways to escape those situations (and give your partner signals that you need to escape).  It provides easy ways to rekindle the spark with your spouse and remember why you want a family with them in the first place.

For me, it just gave me hope.  And renewed faith in the process.  Something I haven’t felt in a year.

This book isn’t rocket science.  You’re not going to find the crazy secret post-sex position you haven’t heard of before, or a new way to check cervical fluid.  You’re going to find real ways to cope with your baby-making struggles, while  finding yourself and renewing the strength of your marriage in the process.  Oh, and yeah, God is in there a time or two.  But, for me, it was just the right amount.

Which brings me to the other book I was going to read:  “When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden.”

After reading “Love & Infertility” in two hours, I picked up “When Empty Arms” and immediately felt annoyed and disinterested.  This book was stuffy, laden with spiritual references and had an immediate sense of “Poor You!  Poor, poor you!”

I put it down after two pages and won’t be going back to it.  It may be helpful to some; but for me, I have been sad long enough.  I needed something to help me focus on what matters.

Kristen’s “Love and Infertility” got me out of my elastic-waist pants and actually motivated me to shave my legs.

Now THAT is a miracle.

//

5 Comments »

Are you there, God? It’s me, Scrambled.

Previously, I wrote about how I must be on this Earth solely to be comic relief for God.  And while I do enjoy making people laugh, I’m kind of over being His punching bag.

It ain’t funny anymore.

Ok, it sort of is.  A little.  But only 3 weeks after it happens, and a lot of wine has been imbibed.

Before Christmas, I promised to tell you how AF arrived in the worst possible way.  Well, here goes.

First, I need to set the stage.  I once told you about all the many pregnant women around me at work.  Last year, three women on my hall had a baby.   No lie – the mothers were all named some variation of Jennifer (Jennifer, Jenny and Jen).  They all sat next to one another, and always – repeat, always – walked waddled to the bathroom together.  Always right past my office.

Finally, they all had their damn babies, went on maternity leave and I had 12 weeks of unpregnant bellies crowding me in the bathroom.

Fast-forward – now, it’s Christmas and time for our annual department Christmas lunch.  I’m officially three days late for my period and somewhat hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this month we nailed it (so to speak).   I live by the motto “Drink til it’s pink” – so I was enjoying a few vodka tonics with my friends while we awaited the beginning of the party.   My three girlfriends/coworkers and my “work husband” were all standing around shooting the shit.  The convo went something like this:

Friend A:  wait… I thought that was Jennifer?

Friend B:  No, that is Jenny.

Work Husband:  Which one is the red head and looks about 12 years old?

Me:  That’s Jen.

Work Husband:  Well, which one is the really skinny one?

Friend A:  That’s Jenny.

Friend C:  Shit.  I thought the one with the curly hair was Jenny?

Me:  No, that’s Lindsay Beth.

Work Husband:  Oh yeah… she’s the hot one.

[silence as we all stare at him]

Friends A, B, C and me:  You think SHE is hot?

Work Husband:  Well, she’s got a nice ass.

Me:  I thought MY ass was the only one you’re allowed to look at (noting that his wife gives him permission to be my work husband, and occasionally Friend B’s work husband, too).

Work Husband:  Have you SEEN her in a pair of jeans?

Just when we’re all about to tear into him about his admiration of Lindsey Beth’s denim ass, we hear the *ting ting ting* of a knife on a wine glass as our department head kicks off our Christmas lunch with a poem she wrote about our department getting bigger this year with the addition of two new groups, and then she slowly added, “Annnnnd, speaking of GROWING…”

People – I kid you not.  I became short of breath.  I started to sweat.  The room shrank.  The sides went dark.  I was in a tunnel of DON’T FUCKING SAY IT, WOMAN!

And, in what sounded like whale-speak, in slow motion she said, “We’re about to have another baby in the group!  Congratulations…. LINDSEY BETH.”

are you KIDDING ME?  Are.  You.  Kidding.  Me.  First, her ass trumps mine, and now her uterus does, too?!

BITCHASS.

In that moment, I hear work husband let out a long, slow, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH of an exhale and he muttered, “Well, THAT was the worst.  possible. cosmic.  timing.  EVER.”

I turned and said, “YOU DID THIS!  YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN!”

Work Husband:  I’m pretty sure I didn’t.

Me:  Well, I hope you enjoy her ass as it gets big as hell.    And I stormed to the bar.

When I returned to the table, work husband looked sheepish and sad and truly sorry.  It became laughable at that moment, because he was acting like maybe he DID do it… which made me giggle.  But only a little.

So, I soldiered on through the party.  But when it was over, I was near my breaking point.  I desperately needed to go scream, cry, punch something.  I needed to be alone.   I said my goodbyes, polished off my drink, and headed to the parking lot.

En route to my car, I STARTED MY PERIOD.

Kids, I can’t make this shit up.

I let it all out.  Sobbed in public stumbling to my car through tear-filled eyes and didn’t care who saw.  I sat behind the wheel before cranking the car and just let out a big ol’ rebel yell.  Except, unlike Billy Idol, I cried, “NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE.”

And from there, I screamed til I was hoarse.  I begged God to answer me:

WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING FROM THIS?

TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

By the time I got home, I was all cried out and without a voice.  In a sick, mental way, it was cathartic to just let it all out.  It also helped that two days later, Sunnyside came to visit and we put all this behind me.

Over the holiday, I let go of some anger, let in some perspective and just tried to be happy in my current life.  I have no idea what 2013 is going to hold, but I’m hoping that God will allow me a little hiatus from his Comedy Troupe, at the very least.

8 Comments »

A few good infertility resources

Apologies for the lack of witty and/or helpful posts lately, folks.  Tis the season to actually be able to focus on something other than infertility (though we all know it’s really always on our minds).  It’ s just a smidge easier to get distracted from it for a bit this time of year.

But, last week I was reminded of it harshly.  AF arrived with a vengeance at THE most insulting time possible (more on that later, because let me tell you – it’s a good story.  STILL pisses me off, but I have a feeling a few of it will find the humor in it.  I promise to post that story soon.  And yes, it was worse than this).

As a result, though, I was left in a bumbling heap of tears and alcohol (and fortunately, in the arms of Sunnyside, who drove 7.5 hours to come visit me last week – you may have seen some of the antics we got into).  For the first time since my miscarriage in April, I fell into a really dark place.  Not just sad or disappointed – but panic-stricken, hopeless, faithless depression.

You may have heard me mention that I work at a pretty phenomenal company.  In fact, we were just ranked the #1 workplace in the world (no lie).  We have amazing benefits and resources, of which I have only barely scratched the surface.

So, this week I reached out to our “Work/Life” contact to find out if there are any infertility resources available to employees (because they have marriage counselors, parenting counselors, financial advisers, fitness planners, grief counselors, etc).  She promptly sent me a long list of resources that I’m happy to share with you.  Your list isn’t as long as the one I received because some of the links, articles, videos, seminars are internal to employees and you can’t access them, unfortunately.  But here are some she recommended that aren’t behind our firewall:

Support Groups:

 This one is NC-based, but I think you can go into this site and find something closer to you.

Web pages:

Books:

Don’t worry – I vow not to recommend any “no shit, sherlock” book that tells you to have sex missionary style, raise your legs over your head, check cervical mucous or insert a thermometer into any bodily orifice.  We got that shit locked.  Here are a few resources about handling the insanity and emotional roller coaster, though:

  • Our bodies, our selves – highly-rated health-related book.  Description:  Our Bodies, Ourselves is the resource that women of all ages turn to for information about their bodies, sexuality, and reproductive health. Completely revised and updated, these pages provide women with the information and tools they need to make key health decisions—accurate, evidence-based information, input from leading experts, and personal stories from women who share their experiences. This new edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves includes the latest vital information on:

Changes in the health care system — especially how health care reform affects women and how to get the care you need.

Safer sex – how to engage in pleasurable, satisfying sexual experiences while protecting your health and the health of your partner.

Environmental health risks – including minimizing exposure to everyday pollutants that endanger reproductive health.

Body image – resisting negative media stereotypes and embracing healthier approaches to looking and feeling good.

Local and global activism – using social media and organizing tactics to build community and advocate for policies that improve women’s lives.

I hope these help you.  I’ve already requested the first two books from our campus library (yes, I know… my company rocks).  I’ll write a review of them when I get through them and let you know what I think – but, please tell me what you think if you read it first!
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Exciting news from the eggs! And we need your help!

Nooooo, neither of us is knocked up.

Next best thing?  We finally met in person!  You may not know that Sunnyside and I met through an online support community while trying to conceive and became fast friends.  But, we live in different states!

This weekend, Sunnyside drove 500 miles north to visit me and we’ve been having the BEST time.  We can’t wait to show you our antics over the next few days, but until then, here’s one of our many shenanigans.

We entered the Inappropriate Elf on the Shelf photo contest.  And now, we need your help to make us a winner!

Here is our entry – and as you will see, not even Hollywood romances can last forever.

Poor Angelina.  Now she knows how Jennifer Aniston felt.  Angelina caught Brad with the nanny.  On their wedding day.

Please click the photo to go to the contest site and VOTE!  We are around #111, but the numbers change occasionally if the moderators disqualify any entries.  So, look for THIS photo, and click “like” on the contest page!  ALSO – if you’re willing, please share this with your followers on your blog/twitter/facebook and ask them to vote.  We’d really appreciate it!

bradnannyfinal

We can’t wait to show you more of what we’ve gotten into this week.  Stay tuned – and please vote for our photo!

2 Comments »

Just when I thought I’d heard it all…

Tis the season for Christmas cards, holiday parties and seeing family you haven’t seen in a while.  The loving, caring, interested, nosy, entitled, uncensored family.

We’ve posted several times about the ridiculous things people say to you about having a baby.  Whether it’s the “helpful” advice about how to get past your infertility issues or the Spanish inquisition about why you haven’t had a baby (or another baby), one thing is for sure.  Most people are annoying.

Last weekend, I went to our annual extended family Christmas gathering.  I’m the youngest grandchild of a litter of kiddos.  I came from the youngest of seven siblings – so my aunts and uncles range from 85 on down to 60.  The older they are, the more ridiculous things they say.

I hugged the neck of my oldest aunt, and said, “Merry Christmas!”

She replied in her squeaky, nasally tone, “Are you done?”

“Done?  Done with… work?  My company is closed from Christmas Eve to the New Year – so, just a few more weeks.”

She looked confused.  “No.  Done having babies.”

Sigh. Queue canned answer that is only half true, but is the safest one I have:   “I don’t know… we’re just enjoying life, and enjoying [kiddo] while he’s small.  Maybe one day.”

She now looked confused, and annoyed.  “He’s too old!!  You’re waiting too long.  Don’t wait too long – or I’ll be dead before you have another one and I’ll never see it.”

I’ll.  Be.  Dead.

And as I try to digest this ridiculous conversation, her eyes fill up with tears.  She’s truly upset by the fact that she may die before I have another baby.  At which point, I just had to walk away, because guess what.  SO AM I.  I’m afraid I may die before I have another baby, too. 

So then, I sit down to eat dinner and am just glad to be away from that conversation.  I’m approached by one of my many first cousins – this one is in her early 50s, never married and living with her twin sister (also never married).  She asks, “Are you going to have any more babies?”

WHY THE HELL do people think it’s ok to ask this?  Why don’t they ask, “How’s work?” or “Do you like your new house?” or “Are you traveling for the holidays?”  Shit – I’d rather you ask, “Why’d you cut your hair?” or “What’s hanging out of your nose?” than to ask me if I’m having another baby.

I sigh, and reply again, “Maybe one day… we’re just enjoying him while he’s still young.  He’s so much fun, and we want to devote our time to him right now.”  To which she said, “But, he’s FOUR already.”     OH SHIT – really????  He’s FOUR?  How the HELL did I not know this?  Let me throw DH down next to the Christmas Ham and get things rolling NOW.

At this point, I’d had it, and I snapped, “Well, sometimes it’s not as easy to do as you may think.”

Her eyes got big and I saw the “Oh shit” flash through her head.   VICTORY!

She then softened and said, “I’m sorry.”  And then I felt it.  The prick of tears behind my eyes.  DON’T DO IT.  DON’T DO IT!

Damn it.  I did it.  I cried.  Fuck me.

And then she began asking sweet questions, and pointedly asked me if I’d miscarried.  So, I didn’t lie.  And she was kind.  It actually felt kind of good to talk about it.  The more I talk about it, the easier it seems to process it all.

It was in that moment that I realized something.  I don’t mind if people inquire… as long as they don’t do it like an asshole.

Progress.

4 Comments »

Research: Infertility is Painful

I’d like to thank Ria from www.fillmynest.wordpress.com for introducing me to this very interesting article. Please check out her blog. She has a beautiful, spiritual, positive perspective on dealing with the harsh reality of infertility.

The Bible and The Pain of Infertility by Kimberly Monroe & Philip Monroe 

A few poignant excerpts:

“In one study, 63% of women who experienced both infertility and divorce rated their infertility as more painful than their divorce. In another study, women who experienced either chronic or life-threatening diseases ranked the emotional pain of infertility at similar levels to that of terminal illness.”

Amazing. Sadly amazing, but it makes me feel as though we are not just getting “all worked up” over something minor. I wish this information was better known. As I mentioned in Suggestion Box at Maximum Capacity, if people better understood the struggle, we wouldn’t feel so isolated and different.

“One unique thing about infertility is the hope/despair cycle. At the beginning of her monthly cycle, a woman has great hope. I’m going to get pregnant this month. I know it. The month ends. No pregnancy. She despairs. The next month comes. Great hope again. But no pregnancy. Hope careens down to despair. When she’s in treatment for infertility, the woman has hope. She forces herself through the process, trying more things, doing more things. She hopes. But, the higher the hope, the deeper the fall. The despair side intensifies after each failure to conceive.”

Isn’t this the truth!? Everything is a cycle for us. The neat thing is we keep getting back up, rising to the occasion, and opening ourselves to possibility with renewed hope. Although many of us have whispered (or screamed) the words “I can’t do this anymore,” we continue to fight and, in turn, strengthen our bonds with each other.

“Hormone crazies. On the upside of your cycle, when you have estrogen, you’re moving along, thinking clearly, and acting with purpose. You’re on top of things. But on the progesterone side of the cycle, you react in a different manner. It’s hard to think, easy to get stuck, and easy to be depressed.”

Thank you, science. I wish I had found this statement long ago. What we feel and how we act is just a magnification of our hormones’ natural properties. It’s not just because we are struggling to conceive. Sure, our emotions and anxieties are elevated, but infertility is not the only culprit on those days when we feel helpless, frustrated, and in despair. Oh, the beauty of hormones.

“Grief. No funeral. No burial. No flowers. No cards. Yet there is a death: the death of hopes of the wonder of a child emerging from your love.”

This is a tough statement to read, but I think it gives a fairly accurate overview of the darkness we feel when another month passes and pregnancy is not achieved. It’s something few understand. It may seem morbid, or even naive, to compare our struggles to death, but the emotions are eerily similar.

Here is some supporting research:

Many Couples Struggle with Infertility in Silence

An anonymous epidemic 
Having difficulty getting pregnant can cause as much grief as losing a loved one, says Linda D. Applegarth, Ed.D., director of psychological services at the Perelman Cohen Center. “But it’s different. It is chronic and elusive,” she adds. “There’s a fear that life will be eternally empty. Some feel a sense of damage and brokenness; it goes to the heart of who they are.” The result is the dread and shame that Applegarth sees in her waiting room. “Patients slink around and sit in corners because they don’t want to see anyone they know from their work or social circle,” she says, “even if it would mean they would know someone going through the same thing.” Only 5 percent of patients use the psychological support services their clinic offers, despite data showing how helpful they can be.

Because no one wants to discuss infertility, “nothing gets done about it,” says Lindsay Beck, founder of Fertile Hope, a program run by the Lance Armstrong Foundation in Austin, Texas, that supports cancer patients whose treatments threaten their fertility. “Infertility is where breast cancer was in the 1970s — completely in the closet.” Beck’s treatments for her tongue cancer and its recurrence aged her reproductive system by possibly a decade; she ultimately had five IVF procedures and two children. She’s undergoing fertility treatments again in hopes of conceiving a third. “In my experience, it’s a much lighter atmosphere in the cancer waiting room than in the IVF waiting room,” she says. “Cancer patients talk about anti-nausea drugs and what worked for them. They look at each other as a means of support. For some reason, fertility patients tend to ignore each other in the waiting room.” Beck says that “the cancer card” makes it easier for women to talk about their difficulties trying to get pregnant — and to find financial assistance to pay for treatment — after chemotherapy, radiation or both have ravaged their body. “Everyone relates to cancer and is supportive of helping cancer patients,” she says. “For the average fertility patient, there is no united front.”

The Psychological Impact of Infertility and its Treatment 

While the causes of infertility are overwhelmingly physiological, the resulting heartache may exact a huge psychological toll. The physical and emotional ordeal of infertility treatment often make matters worse.

Many women who have been through it and some of their male partners have said that infertility was the most upsetting experience of their lives.

Other research has suggested that women with infertility feel as anxious or depressed as those diagnosed with cancer or hypertension, or who are recovering from a heart attack.

Men tend to report less distress than women. However, one study found that men’s reactions may depend on who is diagnosed with infertility. When their wives or partners are infertile, men do not report being as distressed as the women do. But when men learn that they are the ones who are infertile, they experience the same levels of low self-esteem, stigma and depression as infertile women do.


Research: The Relationship Between Stress and Infertility

The psychological impact of infertility can be profound and depressive symptoms are more common in the infertile population than in matched fertile women.Approximately 10 percent of infertile women meet the criteria for a major depressive episode, 30-50 percent report depressive symptoms, and 66 percent report feeling depressed after infertility treatment failure. The majority of infertile women report that infertility is the most upsetting experience of their lives. Infertile women report equivalent levels of anxiety and depression as women with cancer, HIV status or heart disease.

…the findings of a 2000 Harvard Medical School study, which showed that participation in an infertility support group can actually increase a woman’s chances of conceiving in a given menstrual cycle over 50 percent, jumping from 20 to 54 percent. Dr. Linda Applegarth, Director of Psychological Services at the Center for Reproductive Medicine, explained that not only are support groups important for women to find common ground with others and a safe space to share their feelings, but they can also be a wealth of knowledge regarding appropriate information about where to go for good infertility treatment.

Check out this link for more infertility related research:
Infertility and the Mind/Body Connection

4 Comments »

I Get My “Baby” Fix in Many Ways…

Babies are EVERYWHERE!

Babies are EVERYWHERE!

I do not have a baby yet. Well, I don’t have a human baby. Much to my surprise, my life is actually rich in “baby.” I work at a daycare center and on the weekends I volunteer for a children’s shelter. I attend an average of two baby showers each month, and I can’t get enough of tiny tot birthday parties. Babies are all around me! No, thats a lie. All of it.

However, here is a list of the “baby” things I can enjoy without a baby

Baby carrots with homemade ranch dip
Baby drinks (aka shots) and being hungover for two days
Baby vitamins: I take gummies like a child. There are just some things I prefer not to swallow. Get your mind out of the gutter 😉

It's no coincidence that "gummy" and "yummy" rhyme.

It’s no coincidence that “gummy” and “yummy” rhyme.

A baby laughing: I don’t care who you are, if a baby laughs you can’t help but smile.
Sleeping like a baby: Ambien-induced sleep is preferred.
Being a cry baby during sad movies without the worry of freaking out a kid.
Baby corn: No. Not a chance. Creeps me out.

Okay, fine. This "baby corn" doesn't creep me out.

Okay, fine. This “baby corn” doesn’t creep me out.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside: Perfect for the holidays. Oh, and Santa Baby!
Baby-sized travel toiletries: I can still pretend to travel light. My husband would disagree.
Baby animals: Obsessed. I saw a cute pic of a baby platypus today and quickly added it to my Christmas list.

...and I will name him...Sherman.

…and I will name him…Sherman.

Baby pencils: I can play putt-putt without a stroller and the sharp points are only dangerous if I’ve had a few too many drinks.
The Babysitters Club: I had EVERY book. Man, I miss those girls.

babysitters club book

I’ve got a great idea. Ann needs to write a sequel. I want to know what these chicks are up to now. Is Kristy a lawyer? Is Claudia an escort?

Baby silverware: Addicted to these miniature utensils. Plus, they make gelato last longer.
Baby talk: It’s how I communicate with my dogs. It’s also how I try to get something out of my husband.
Baby soda cans: 8 ounces is plenty because I don’t need to share.
Baby gates: These ingenious restraints keep my dogs out of the kitchen and my cats out of the guest room. DH refers to them as “baby fences” because they don’t have a door. It’s a heated debate at our house.

Well played, Lab Parents, well played.

Well played, Lab Parents, well played.

Baby-sized candy: The superfluous unwrapping slows me down. Sometimes.
Baby wipes: We all love that fresh feeling. Don’t pretend like you don’t know.
Baby Got Back: I can blast it and shake my ass like a fool. We don’t need to talk about the time I split my pants on stage  in a booty shakin’ competition. I retreated quickly. No victory there.

Baby, Baby by Amy Grant: Bonus: there’s a puppy in the video. Double “baby” points.

Dirty Dancing: Unedited. On a Sunday afternoon. Nobody puts baby in a corner.
Baby making practice:  “Brown chicken brown cow.”  (My interpretation of porn music.)

Baby sign language: The “poop” sign made famous in Meet the Fockers is a staple around here.

Ah, classic!

Ah, classic!

Baby boomers: Love my parents and in-laws!
Baby Mama: I could watch that movie for days straight without losing interest.
Baby doll lingerie: Who am I kidding? I don’t wear that crap. Anymore.
Hit Me Baby, One More Time: I refuse to give up on Britney.

britney spears fan club
Celebrity baby names: A great idea list for future pet names.
Ice, Ice Baby: No justification needed.

What “baby” stuff do you enjoy? I’m sure I missed a few good ones!

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