Two Good Eggs

Two cracked eggs find the sunnyside (and funny side) of trying to conceive

Normal is as normal does…

A wise man once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Actually, it was his wise MAMA who said that.  I digress.
It’s so true, though.  Lately, I have been feeling like someone went into my Whitman’s Sampler and switched out all the milk chocolate caramel ones with the nasty foamy strawberry or cherry ones.

I felt alone, and broken.  I asked myself, and God, “Why me?”

I felt like a circus freak.  The one with the broken ovaries and bad eggs.  I felt like going to see an RE would be like walking down a dark and empty corridor, greeted by a Magda receptionist under a swinging light bulb.

But this week I realized something.

I’m not alone.  And I’m not a freak. 

I sat in my RE office, awaiting my IUI on a rainy, cold, pre-hurricane Monday morning and people-watched.  As I did, I began to smile.  Everyone in that waiting room looked normal.  Every stereotype, every “reason” in my head that previously explained my infertility — I’m too old, I’m out of shape, I’m not thin enough, my husband’s too old – were all debunked.

The people in front of me before I checked in were about my age.  Both heavier than me and my husband.

The lady behind me was taller, thinner, healthier – and older.

The lady that emerged from the back to check out – much older than me.

The girl that came in as I was leaving – in her mid-20s, at best.

The couple on the couch – obviously there for their first consult – looked like a J.Crew ad.

These people were all beautifully normal.  And infertile.

We are not alone.  And we are not freaks.

Maybe that cherry chocolate isn’t so bad after all.

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Tell me what to blog about during my TWW

Many of us are all to familiar with the Two Week Wait.

I’ve been out of contention for the TWW for a few months as we tried to iron out our next steps re: treatment.  As of Monday, I’m sperminated via IUI.  I didn’t think about entering into another TWW after the IUI was completed.

For the first time in a couple of months, I don’t have multiple doctor visits per week.  I have to sit quietly and stick to my knitting for the next 14 days.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

And, I can’t partake in my usual TWW past-time – POAS every day from 8DPO – because I’ll get false positives due to the Ovidrel in my system.  Dammit!

So, I turn to you – loyal followers – to help me pass my days.  Want me to take a picture of a dog pushing a mouse in a shopping cart?  Want me to blog about how I lost my first tooth in kindergarten?  Want to see me planking?

Give me some topics and I’ll do a TWW-a-day blog post, based solely on what you request.

Hit me!

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An Ounce of Prevention: HSG, Health Insurance, and a Break

My HSG (hysterosalpingogram) was yesterday and I had a bit of anxiety before the test, but it was completely unwarranted. If you’ve never had one before, try not to stress about it. I changed into a gown, slipped on fuzzy socks, and hopped up onto an exam table under a C- Arm (moveable X-ray.) No stirrups!

The flexible tube used to pass the dye is like a spaghetti noodle so it took a few minutes to get it through my cervix. They used a little guide tool to help and that was the most uncomfortable part. The discomfort was comparable to a mild UTI burn and lasted only a minute. I was able to watch the dye as it filled my uterus and my tubes. I laughed because it looked like a mustache forming on the screen as the dye moved. And voila! It was done and everything appears to be normal 🙂 I felt no discomfort as they pulled the tube out. They injected about 4-5cc of dye and for the next few hours it felt as though much more was draining out of me. A pad is a good idea 😉 I had no cramping or pain afterward, and actually left the office very relaxed. Next, we will set up an appointment with Dr. F and review my  blood work and test results.

I mentioned briefly earlier this week that things have been kinda…crappy lately. DH and I are switching to a private insurance policy that has phenomenal maternity coverage, but there’s a catch. I cannot conceive within 30 days of the policy effective date. WTF?! The agent said it could take anywhere from an hour to several weeks to receive application approval from underwriting. If it became effective TODAY, we would be dangerously close to the 30 day mark with IUI next month. I have not yet sent the application in because…because I don’t want to put everything on hold right when it starts to become somewhat promising. I’m really bummed.

I should be ovulating early next week and we are going to have to AVOID pregnancy. I can’t really wrap my head around this yet. Protected sex?! Depending on when our new policy becomes effective, there’s a very good chance we’ll have to postpone IUI until January. We will be across the country for ten days during Christmas, while I’m ovulating, so fertility treatments are out for December, too. I guess I can still get on clomid and try “naturally” in December, but I think we’ll have to prevent the next two cycles. Uggghhhh!

I can look at all the positives:
Time for DH to regenerate new sperm
No crazy cycle tracking and POAS all the time
I can live somewhat normally for a few months
I can drink over the holidays 🙂

BUT, I’m impatient and not wanting to deal with these stupid delays. So I’m going to pout about it for a day or two. Then, I’ll find a dozen Pinterest crafts to keep my mind off of this momentary retreat. Or maybe buy a turtle. And name him Harry. We’ll see.

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